Troop suport ralley in Noblesville

Jokes

Reader M needed a laugh. I posted these in her commnets, thought ya'll would llike them too.

Enjoy!!

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What’s the square root of 69?

Eight something.

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Frozen Skunk

A man and his wife were driving home one very
cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband,
"It's nearly frozen to death.
Can we take it with us, get it warm,
and let it go in the morning?"
He says, "OK, get in the car with it."
The wife says, "Where shall I put it to get it warm?"
He says, "Put it between your legs.
It's nice and warm there."
"But what about the smell?" said the wife.
He says, "Just hold the skunk 's nose."

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with....died at the scene.

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A real Bitch......

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling team.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you d rink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.

I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

The funeral for BOB is on Friday.

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A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why she would ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps in to?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Fire truck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......

I am Midnight

Found this over at Kat's.

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits. Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle. Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it. You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

What Time Of Day Are You?

Damn Fair Skin

I swear, I gotta be carcinoma walking.

Went out riding with the wife yesterday, thought it would be for an hour or so... but Noooo. We were out for most of the day.

I look like a lobster! With white sunglasses.

Thank God for aloe gel.

Nobody touch me for a few days, k?

I Gots Nada

But I did find these cool little time waisters over at LL's.

You Are Chai Tea

There are many subtle sides to your personality. You are difficult to decode. You are a complex and deep individual. You have many nuanced beliefs, and your mood frequently changes. You are a creative and expressive person. You draw your inspiration from the whole world. You enjoy exotic food, music, and travel. Your tastes are very international.

What Kind of Tea Are You?

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

I've made smarter things than you by eating fiber

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

A Bored Engineer Is A Dangerous Thing

Never let an engineer get bored. We will entertain ourselves and you may be missing all your flatware, cue sticks and wine bottles.

I love the part where one cell calls another and the vibrations starts the process in the second house.



Click here.

Marine Family Day in Indianapolis

I can only e-mail 15 seconds worth of video, so these are short.

My son is in there someplace...

The Silence Is Broken

The Silence Is Broken

It has been quiet around Indiana for quite some time now.

We’ve been busy with poker runs and rides to remember the heroes that have passed. We’ve been having fund raisers and packing care packages. 3,000 Indiana National Guard troops deployed in January and we promised them all a care package.

About 50 of us were there that day, 02JAN08, sending them off. A silent thought ran through our group, a thought that no one dared speak. ‘what we do’ As we hugged random men and women (more like kids, as I find myself aging) we wished them well and promised them a home coming that would be second to none. But that thought... we all knew some would be home sooner.

I know we hoped against hope and prayed that we would... could be obsolete. That we would not have to ‘do what we do’.

Today, this week, we have been called. Personally, I have been called twice. The ultimate price has been paid yet again for my freedom and yours. Over the next week or 10 days the Indiana Patriot Guard will honor three of Indiana’s sons.

Sgt. Gary M. Henry, 34, of Indianapolis, Ind.

Spc. Jonathan D. Menke, 22, of Madison, Ind.

These men were killed supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Aug. 4 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when debris from an improvised explosive device detonation on an overpass fell onto their vehicle. They were assigned to the 38th Military Police Company, 38th Infantry Division, Indiana Army National Guard, Danville, Ind. -- DOD

Sgt. Brian K. Miller, 37, of Pendleton, Ind

Sgt. Miller, died Aug. 2 in Abd Allah, Iraq, of injuries suffered in a vehicle accident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 293rd Infantry Regiment, 76th Brigade Combat Team, Indiana Army National Guard, Fort Wayne, Ind. -- DOD


Thank you, gentlemen, for your service. And your sacrifice. It, nor you, will be forgotten.

To your families - It is our honor to stand with you and for your son. The sacrifice you have made for me and my country will be cherished. God bless and be with you all. I pray that his peace be with you and guide you through these days. Know that Gary, John and Brian will not be forgotten.

Rembering the USS Indianapolis

Rembering the USS Indianapolis.

10th Mountain Division

During the trip out west, we spent about a day with two fantastic people. Joe and Lois. We met them at the USS Indianapolis Survivors reunion parade here in Indy last year. Lois is the niece of one of the survivors. Great people, fed us, let us stay in their mountain cabin. The 3br, 3ba, 2 car ga ‘cabin’ complete with a deck with the views noted below is their summer retreat, they call it a cabin, I call it a resort...

Anyway...

In one of our many military based conversations, Joe tells us about the previous owner of his cabin. If I remember correctly, the guy (his name escapes me) was a member of the 10th Mountain Division in WWII. He built the cabin up there at 7-8k feet 50+ years ago when there was nothing. I cannot imagine. I got winded up there just going up 4-5 steps on their deck, little lone ‘build’ something up there. Hell, pilots have to put on oxygen at 10,000 feet.

Joe and Lois added on to the cabin a few years ago, so it a bit larger now but still the most awesome views.

Many other 10th Mountain guys returned from the French and Italian Alps, loving the mountains, to start and revitalize the ski slopes that now dominate the Rocky Mountain landscape.

In that discussion Joe starts telling us about a book. One of the guys from the 10th Mountain comes home and puts together a multi picture ‘scrap book’ (I believe there was 1,000 pictures) complete with descriptions and comments about each picture. The comments include locations, men’s names and their ranks. In hauntingly many cases there are “... was killed weeks after this picture was taken.” Or “... died of injuries sustained 6 months after this.”

He made 1,000 copies.

OK... let that sink in. 1,000 copies... in post WWII America there is not a Kinko’s down around the corner. No color copiers or printers. You didn’t place all the pictures in a graphics editor and print it. This guy had 1,000 copies of each photograph printed and mounted each in a book along with the description. Now that’s dedication to recording history. We need that today.... but that's another post.

Sometime in there while we are talking, Joe disappears and comes back with a copy of 'the book'. One of the original, photographs printed in sepia because that’s how they printed them, copies. As I’m flipping through the pages, in complete awe of the history in my hands, I came across this photo and caption.

To me. This says it all about cards, letters and care packages for our troops.



Everyone knows someone that knows someone currently in the sand box.

Go.

Now.

Get their address, send them something. Tell them thanks, tell them you’re proud of their service.

Even if you never hear from them, they'll appriciate it. Really.