Monday, November 05, 2007

Wedding Toasts

I’ve been involved or invited to more weddings in the last 6 months than any single year for over 20 years. Some friends were married over the summer and a buddy was best man at his dad’s wedding last month and I’m going to a wedding for a good friend this weekend.

The buddy that was best man at his dad wedding had to give a toast. I’m not the best man or anything this weekend but these events got me to thinking about toasts. I found a few that were really good. I’m sure there are others.

Got a good toast, I’d love to hear it. Here is what I’ve found so far...

· "May you always come more than you go."
· "May your love be a thousand miles long but come in six inch installments."
· "Here's to birthdays... they come only once a year! Aren't you glad you're not a birthday??"
· "Here's to the top, And here's to the middle. Let's hope tonight we all get a little."
· "I want to thank you all for coming, especially my parents, (X) years ago."
· "Here's to heat! Not the kind that ignites and burns down shanties, but the kind that excites and slides down panties!"
· "Here's to you, here's to me, together as friends we'll always be. And if we ever disagree, Fuck you, here's to me."
· "May your beer always be dry and your women always moist."
· "Here's to honor. To getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor."
· "Here's to honor — cause if you can't come in her, come on her! If you can’t come on her, fuck her!!
· "Here's to those we love the best, we love them best when they're undressed. We love them sitting, standing, lying; if they had wings we'd love them flying. And when they're dead, buried, forgotten- we'll dig them up and fuck them rotting!"
· "Here's to the lady in the white shoes: she'll steal all your money, she'll drink all your booze. She ain't got a cherry, but that ain't no sin, 'cuz she's still got the box that the cherry came in!"


steph said...

My dad would have so kicked someone's ass if those toasts had been made at my wedding. ;)

Anonymous said...

Fucking hilarious!

I say go for it. Sounds like a good toats to me. LOL