Wedding Toasts

I’ve been involved or invited to more weddings in the last 6 months than any single year for over 20 years. Some friends were married over the summer and a buddy was best man at his dad’s wedding last month and I’m going to a wedding for a good friend this weekend.

The buddy that was best man at his dad wedding had to give a toast. I’m not the best man or anything this weekend but these events got me to thinking about toasts. I found a few that were really good. I’m sure there are others.

Got a good toast, I’d love to hear it. Here is what I’ve found so far...

· "May you always come more than you go."
· "May your love be a thousand miles long but come in six inch installments."
· "Here's to birthdays... they come only once a year! Aren't you glad you're not a birthday??"
· "Here's to the top, And here's to the middle. Let's hope tonight we all get a little."
· "I want to thank you all for coming, especially my parents, (X) years ago."
· "Here's to heat! Not the kind that ignites and burns down shanties, but the kind that excites and slides down panties!"
· "Here's to you, here's to me, together as friends we'll always be. And if we ever disagree, Fuck you, here's to me."
· "May your beer always be dry and your women always moist."
· "Here's to honor. To getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor."
· "Here's to honor — cause if you can't come in her, come on her! If you can’t come on her, fuck her!!
· "Here's to those we love the best, we love them best when they're undressed. We love them sitting, standing, lying; if they had wings we'd love them flying. And when they're dead, buried, forgotten- we'll dig them up and fuck them rotting!"
· "Here's to the lady in the white shoes: she'll steal all your money, she'll drink all your booze. She ain't got a cherry, but that ain't no sin, 'cuz she's still got the box that the cherry came in!"