Duke

I wrote this in August of 2010.  It's self explanatory.

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Hi!

My name is Duke.  I’d like to take a minute and re-introduce myself.

See, I’m a HSHC puppy.  I was adopted from you guys (the Humane Society for Hamilton County) on
February 14, 2000.  I’m having a fantastic and wonderful life.  Since I've recently joined Face Book (with mom’s help) and found you, I thought I’d reconnect with the place and organization that has made everything I am, possible.

Growing up in Hamilton County has been great.  I helped mom and dad raise the kids, got them lots of exercise and occasionally told on them for coming home late.  We lived in a nice neighborhood and I got to go on walks often.  Mom and dad also got me a membership to Eagle Creek Dog Park. It was a long drive but it was great fun and I got to meet a bunch of new canine friends.  Although occasionally I had to bark at some of the people that were around.  The reason, everyone finally figured out goes back to when I was about 2-1/2.  During a visit from grandma and grandpa I had to bark at grandpa, several times.  Boy was mom and dad mad.  I didn't stop even when they told me too.  The third time I went barking crazy at grandpa, finally, mom and grandma figured out I was trying to tell them there was an issue.  See, grandpa is a diabetic and every time he had an insulin reaction, I could tell and was trying desperately to tell someone.

They all finally came to find out, all dogs can smell chemical changes in people and even the difference between two individuals.  See that’s how we can track you through the woods or track a rabbit though thick brush.  The profoundly sensitive and discrete sense of smell all canines have has been passed down form our wolf ancestors.  For survival, they had to learn to ‘smell’ the wounded or sick individuals in a heard of thousands.  The gift, mom found that I have, is the desire to tell someone when there is a change.

That was the beginning of mine and mom’s training. Over the past 9 or so years I have been training and certifying in blood evidence detection.  I have been to Ohio, Michigan, North Carolina and the Ames NASA Research facility near San Francisco California for specialized training.

I can find a single 10 year old tooth in a gravel parking lot.  I can find a single drop of blood on a red carpet that has been set on fire.  I have worked with the FBI, Indiana State Police and fire and police departments in Indianapolis, Shelbyville and Wabash among others.

I am certified with NASAR (National Association for Search and Rescue), IPWDA (International Police Working Dogs Association), LETS (Law Enforcement Training Specialists), IDHS (Indiana Department of Homeland Security), ICF (Institute for Canine Forensics) and NASA (North American Space Administration).  I have worked missing persons, cold cases, fire cases, and natural disasters like tornadoes and flash floods.

Although I imagine he doesn't remember I even go to meet Governor Daniels once.  That’s when I learned, when he was a young man, he had a dog name Duke too.  What an honor that was.

So… what am I getting at or trying to say here.  Just that as I approach my 11th birthday, (that’s over 77 in people years) I want you to know that some of the pups you adopt out, go on to do great things and that everyone that adopts a pup should know that they have a treasure and a friend for life and a life that will treasure their friendship.

I am proud to have had my start at the HSHC and hope that you are proud to have been my adoption agency.

Sincerely,

Duke “Nuke’m” Randolph

Damn Dogs

My knees hurt.

About 5 years ago I had that arthroscopic surgery on my right knee. Should only be a 20-40 minute thing the doc says. heh, I was under for an hour and 45 minutes. Lots of damage, including an over stressed patella to quadriceps tendon. In order to alleviate that pressure he did some cutting up the muscle to let it stretch out some and relieve the stress my knee cap is/was placing on my knee joint.

I never did get my strength back and the 6+ weeks on crutches stressed the left knee bad enough that it needed attention then too. I never did get it looked at.

Recently, like over the summer, in fact it was the trip out west, before I met up with DC. I was at a business meeting and the group went bowling. I went bowling. Yea, it was fun but Sweet Mother Mary of God! I twisted something and both knees swelled up to the size of softballs, especially the right one. The stiffness and soreness added a little challenge to the week of riding.

After some weeks of babying it and the swelling was almost back to ‘normal’. Yes, it exists in a constant state of swollenness.

Which bring me to yesterday and the title, Damn Dogs.

(See here for my introductions of OD, ND and me)

OD still goes out with an invisible fence collar. ND still has to be escorted, that is to say, taken out on a leash.

So... yesterday I get home and take the dogs out. ND is fast enough and we get back inside in less than 5 minutes. OD is out back, looking for a leaf. Yea, he has a leaf fetish. He’ll walk around the yard in ever decreasing circles until he comes across the perfect leaf, then he will circle the leaf, half in the ‘crapping dog’ position, half in the ‘sniffing the best leaf in the world’ position until, phfft. He finally craps. This ballet can take 10-15 minutes.

I know this is what he is doing. So I’m waiting by the front door.

ND has a ball fetish. She won’t sit in your lap without holding a ball in her mouth. Even comes to eat carrying the ball and drops it next to her bowl. After she eats, she’ll bring the ball and insist you throw it for her till she throws up her food.

Anyway, back to me waiting at the door. ND bring me a ball. She’s too excited to just let go of it and I won’t tug with her with a ball. After a couple second she gives up and drops the ball at my feet and backs up about 4 feet, crouches down and gives the famous border collie ‘lock eye’ stare on the ball. So I kicked it. This is good. Gives me something to do while waiting on the OD to find the perfect leaf.

ND is so fast she usually catches the ball before it gets by her. No mater where I aim it or how hard I kick it, she catches it 99% of the time. After about 10 times of this, I’m thinking, “ok, ya little shit, see if you can catch this one”, and I rare back and clobber the ball....

If you have any bad joints and I say to you my knee ‘popped’ you know. If you don’t have bad joints or knees, how can I explain it... It’s kind of a many rice crispies or many bubble packing bubbles all going at once mixed in with a jab from a rusty spike. All of this sound isn’t so much heard as much as it is felt, through your whole skeleton.

When my foot came back to rest on the floor, I about fell over. It was like standing on a wet noodle. I have no photographic evidence but I’d swear it bent completely backwards and sideways before I regained my balance.

ND thinks my hoping around and groans are a call to play so she popping around like a Mexican jumping bean. Dropping the ball then, because I’m bent over, she races to get it so we can tug with the ball.

Quick enough, the spike dissolves and I can walk. OD comes to the door and all is right with the world... no issues. HA, Riiiiight!

Today, every time I get up from my desk, I am reminded...

DAMN Dogs.

Canis Domesticus

We have two. If there were every two canines that were opposites of the personality spectrum, these two have to be it. They are both working dogs, that is, they have a job in service to the public. But, like any other family where members are in public service, these two are also beloved family members.

Thinking about my morning with these ‘family members’ is unique. I believe the best way to explain what I mean is to run you through the first 15 minutes of every day.

The Characters:
Me – Me; a.k.a. Old Man
OD – Old Dog; Mutt, Humane Society adoption. He is certified with three separate agencies/organizations in his area of expertise. And working on two or three more in a separate area. He is a few days from seven years. He is white with large brown spots. OD is 55 pounds.
ND – New Dog; Pure bread Border Collie, cost us almost a grand, plus driving 16 hours one way to get her… She is still in training, but is VERY good at what she does and should be certified with the same three agencies before February. She is a few days over one year. She is brown with some white areas (her white shapes don’t qualify as spots). ND is 35 pounds.

A loud screeching noise breaks the silence and rather violently interrupts my slumber. “Damn alarm clock” as I knock the lamp off the night stand trying to find the snooze button. All the while the screeching is getting louder (they call it “gentle wake” – yea right!!! Some Chinese engineers idea of a sick joke.). Aahh , silence. Peace. Quite. Dreams… Screeching screaming noise eight minutes and fifty seconds later. Not only does it jip me out of a full ten minute snooze, but I’d swear it’s steeling precious seconds from my very required beauty sleep. “fine, I’ll get up” I mumble to my self as I grab my glasses.

OD sleeps on the floor on my side of the bed so he gives me the constant challenge to groggily get to the bathroom without stepping on him. You should try stepping over a fifty-five pound dog sprawled out between the bed and the wall. Never, keep in mind, in the same place. I’m sure it is just to keep me guessing. And God forbid should you step on some fur, he’ll be sure you’re awake with a yelp that would wake the dead. But for some reason not my wife.

Throw on some sweats and head down stairs. OD waits for me to get about 3 steps down then runs past me howl-growling “come on old man, the new kid has to pee!!” There is always a scratching noise coming from ND’s crate. ND yawning says “is it morning already”, full well knowing that I know she has been awake for hours... She is stretching and flexing her claws, scratching at the crate floor. Quite the eerie sound if you aren’t expecting it. OD grumbles “I don’t have to go, but just incase this is my only chance, I’ll go. But don’t put me out until SHE is going out” As I approach ND’s crate she starts a yawning, moaning, howling, stretching kind of audible talking. Which translates loosely to “oh jeese, it has been a long time since I saw you. I HAVE TO GO!!! Hurry…”,

I grab her leash and undo the crate door latches and swing the door open. This is where the ‘greet you’ joust starts. ND comes out of the crate at full speed and with her second step she will start bouncing. Not really a big deal but she is usually between my legs at the second step. Yep you guessed it… A great way to start the morning. My goal in the joust is to catch ND by the collar at the moment of exit from the crate. Thus curtailing her bouncing joy until I have the leash snapped on. I’m proud to say, I’m usually successful. I stand up and the bouncing resumes. Keep in mind this is a dog that is less the 20” tall, but can just about lick my face by just bouncing straight up, all in about 0.5 seconds. We head for the door and she is in scan mode (head going back and forth in a very frantic OCD kind of way) looking for a ball or Frisbee. Once sighted we must go get it and bring it to the front door. Thank God for retractable leashes or I’d most likely have rug burn or a dislocated shoulder every morning.

OD patiently watches this ballet every morning with head slightly lowered saying “come near me with that much enthusiasm pup, and we’ll go ‘round”. ND usually bounces over and hip slams OD once just for good measure. I open door and we head out. ND is either under or on top of OD by this point, never patient enough to wait a micro second and OD won’t let her be first. Before I can step out the door, ND is off the porch, down the stairs heading around the house, then BOING, she hits the end of her 24 foot leash, falls to the ground, walks back a bout two feet and does what she needs to…

OD (with his Invisible Fence collar) is around back enjoying the last few minutes of the morning peace and quiet for this day. He heads back to the front and as he approaches, ND takes on the stalking/herding pose her breed is famous for, (laying down on the ground, head down between her front paws). Once she can’t take it any more, she springs once again with the un-bounding energy of youth. IF she didn’t come back far enough she gets her neck wrung and falls to the ground, OD prances by and I’d swear he’s smiling. If ND has the leash limit in her calculations, OD get slammed again and this starts the morning “words”. A full flury of ‘jaw sparing’, wrestling and ND body slamming OD 10-15 times.

Up the stairs, on the porch and stand by the front door. Before I can get there ND will go from OD’s left side to his right side and back about 3 times. I open the door and ND is again on top of or under OD. Trying her darnedest to be in front of OD, but he always manages to stay just even or slightly in front. Once she is un-hooked she grabs the afore mentioned ball and heads upstairs to make sure my wife is up. OD heads for the stairs, turns to look at me and says “Just remember, I’m certified, I was free and I have NEVER racked you first thing in the morning”. Before I can say anything, he turns and heads upstairs to sleep on the bed until the Mrs is done in the shower and able to give him his morning belly rubs.