Thursday, January 31, 2013


Is it really that hard?

I know nobody that needs to read this is going to see it but here it goes anyway.

Turn signals - signal your intention. They don't mean 'hey here I come get out of the way' or 'oh shit I almost missed my turn, here I come' across 2...3... sometimes 4 lanes of traffic. Additionally, slowing down in traffic before rotating your steering wheel is exactly WHEN you SHOULD use your damn turn signal.

High beams - they help you see at night. Turn them off if another driver is approaching you AND if you are approaching another car from behind.

Head lights - not just to help you see but also to help you be seen. Driving your ghost silver Beemer or Mercedes in the fog or rain without them simply shows, YOU. ARE. AN. ASS!! If, for some reason, you think driving without your head light makes you cool.... you are an ASS with a horse dong stuck in it.

Keep left. EXCEPT to pass - I know. It is a VERY complicated concept. Let me put it in simple logic for you.
You're driving. Look to your right. Is there a lane of travel there?
No, stay where you are.
Yes, is there another vehicle there?
No, move the fuck over.
Yes, stay where you are.
You should run thru this logic about every 10 seconds until it becomes second nature.

Highway entrance ramps - you know that OHMYGOD I'MGOINGTOGETRUNOVER feeling you get...? Well, it's true, assmunch. Speed the fuck up, to the speed of current traffic.  Then merge. You can do it ya fucktard!

Now, if I see one more of you arrogant sons of bitches pass me all in a rush like your pregnant wife is birthing right there on you passenger seat just to cut me off, slow down and fucking turn right. I will come unglued and ram my fist so far up your tailpipe, you'll have to move your balls to wipe your nose.


og said...

In most states using directionals is considered a sign of weakness.

DNR said...

Oh wow, i never knew. That explains it.