Ten Things from betme's Place

WOW!! Did that bring back some memories. I read this at betme’s place last night. You’ll need to go read hers for some of these to make since.

1 - My mom says I would wonder off in the grocery store all of the time at the ripe old age of 4. Hands crossed behind my back just looking all around. Says if she didn’t come look for me, I’d never miss her. Even then I was very independent.

2 - Maybe guys learn to protect their private parts sooner. I ALWAYS swung a leg over while standing on the peddle. (gettgin off and on) Even on smaller bikes.

Is that a peddle on the handle bars of your pic??

3 - Our ‘throwing wars’ were green apples. There was a place about a mile from the house that had about 10 acres of green apple trees. They were about the size of golf balls and every bit as hard... unless you could find a rotted one!!

4 - We always went to grandmas for vacation. Have been to Mt Rushmore, Crazy Horse and the Bad Lands in the RV a few years ago. (when gas was under $2 f’n bucks) Hope to get back soon on the bike.

5 - We swung a tire swing AT the tree. The objective was to spin your friend at the tree and try to make them hit the tree. You got to swing until you hit the tree, then switched... Led to many a bloody arms, knees and shoulders.

6 - heh!! I bought Aerosmith’s “Night in the Ruts”. Never did show my folks the back. Two of the letters were crossed out and the title then read “Right in the Nuts”. The guys were naked too... I think.

7 - We lived on a hill. Felt like you could get up to 30 mph on a skateboard. I left MANY pounds of flesh on that road. Surprised there aren’t rocks imbedded in my knees, elbows and face!

8 - We didn’t have snow drifts quite that high. We did, however, dig snow forts and tunnels in the piles at the end of the driveway and in parking lots. We’d sit in a small dug out hole with 8-10 feet of packed ice and show above us. Every once in a while you’d hear a car loose it and run into the show pack... it would rain ice for a few seconds, everyone holding their breath. Then we’d all bust out laughing.

Yes, the thrill of getting killed was VERY entertaining.

9 - There is something very therapeutic about poking a fire, stirring the coals and burning things.

Ya know, if you knock on the door of an old farm house (the kind that had the key-hole that went all the way through) and waited to hear the foot steps get just close enough... you could use the “hair-spray-flame-thrower” as entertainment... Light it and aim it into the key-hole. The screams could shatter glass and you better run your ass out of there, FAST... at least that is what I’ve heard. What...?

10 - I still hate chores.

Oh Shit!!! From what I learned yesterday and what K said, you better tell LL not to come over here... That last pic may do her in!

You Need to Read This

Open Letter From an Army Wife

Who You Gonna Call??

I don't know why but this struck me as really, really funny. I mean like crying funny.

Do you laugh hystaricaly as stupid stuff if you are stressed out?

Enjoy!

Obama For President??

EDIT - The Picture is faked, even faked a clock in the background...
Big THANK YOU to B!! She sent me this;

It's a photoshopped pic. Go here to see the real one: http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?p=553117

What do you think?

A faked photo-op or is it 0300 and his preacher is calling???

Easter Sunday

Got to spend some time in the woods Sunday. It was a good day.

The Meaning of Life

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.

If Celebrities Moved to Oklahoma

Britney Spears



Ashley Simpson



Cameron Diaz



Michael Douglas & Catherine
Zeta Jones



The Beckhams



Gwen Steffani



Hillary Duff



Jennifer Aniston



Jennifer Lopez & Mark Anthony



Johnny Depp



John Travolta



Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen



Pamela Anderson



Paris Hilton



Sarah Jessica Parker



Sharon Stone



Tara Reid



Tom Cruise

No, I didn't make these, but someone i know is excelent with p-shop!

A Dying Democracy

Got this the other day... interesting reading. I don't know about the five years part and I did not research the quoted. but it is something to think about.

About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier:

'A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.'

'A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.'

'From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.'

'The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years'

'During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;

2. From spiritual faith to great courage;

3. From courage to liberty;

4. From liberty to abundance;

5. From abundance to complacency;

6. From complacency to apathy;

7. From apathy to dependence;

8. From dependence back into bondage'

Professor Joseph Olson of Hemline University School of Law, St. Paul, Minnesota, points out some interesting facts concerning the 2000 Presidential election:

Number of States won by:
Gore: 19
Bush: 29

Square miles of land won by:
Gore: 580,000
Bush: 2,427,000

Population of counties won by:
Gore: 127 million
Bush: 143 million

Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by:
Gore: 13.2
Bush: 2.1

Professor Olson adds: 'In aggregate, the map of the territory Bush won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of this great country.
Gore's territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare...' Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the 'complacency and apathy' phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the 'governmental dependency' phase.

If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegal and they vote, then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years.

An Empath...?

Stole thie from LL.

What Kind of Empath Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Judge You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/) Judge 75% Shaman 60% Universal 50% Precog 50% Fallen Angel 40% Artist 35% Healer 25% Traveler 25%

Look Out Little Brats

22

Top Cop

I just received an e-mail about a Swayzee, Indiana Deputy Chief Mike Jones. Mike is in the running for America’s Most Wanted All-Star. This is what is posted about him:

On December 29, 2007, Deputy Chief Mike Jones responded to a 911 call. Arriving first at the scene he was told that three small children were still in the house. Taking only a small extinguisher, he entered without hesitation where he found the fire was raging. Realizing the extinguisher was inadequate, he concentrated on finding the children. With heavy black smoke bellowing he entered three times before he was able to save the lives of the children, ages 1, 2 and 3. Thanks to his persistent attitude and his disregard for risk of personal injury, the children survived the ordeal. He was awarded the Indiana Governor's Heroism Award, the Congressional Commendation. In addition, he received the life saving award and certificate of Lifesaving medal. He also earned the Swayzee Fire Department Merit Award and lastly the Indiana Heroes Award presented by the Basketball team Indiana Pacers. His career in Law Enforcement began in 2002 and his extensive training included CPR Adult, Child and Infant and also First Aid/AED.

I’d beg you to vote for him here (daily) but my knees are hurting. So, maybe you can just imagine me kneeling and begging you to go vote for Mike.

Thanks!!

DNR

Holy S-HITs Batman

While I was busy and not watching 10,000 hits came and went. I'm at 10,526 this am. the hit counter won't let me go back more than 100 hits so I don't know who to thank.

Thanks to everyone for you patience, encouragement and for coming back even when I don't seem to have time to post.

Here’s a double shot of my favorite to you and the next 10,000 hits!!!

Cheers!!

One Hell of a Weekend

Good gawd it was a hell of a weekend!

The missus decided to test gravity early Sunday morning. That or she thought she was in a ballet.

She missed or skipped the 4th to the last step coming down to breakfast and broke her right toe. If you look closely, you can see several pieces. The Doc said it was good that the joint was spared so there would be no increased risk for arthritis. She also sprained her left ankle and bruised her left hip, and shoulders and arms.

Sunday was spent in the ER... WAITING.... waiting on x-ray.... waiting on the Dr... waiting on the orthopedist... waiting for the meds to kick in... waiting for the meds to wear off. We got to the ER about 10 am and left at 6 pm. Neither of us had eaten since 8ish Saturday night. We both figured we were lucky we didn't kill each other on the way home.

Now, she sleeps in a drug induced blur that keeps things from throbbing too much but just enough to not let her sleep sound. Aahh the wonders of modern medicine.

Soooo, how was your weekend?

Before...

After...

Send Old Vets to Iraq

Got this in an e-mail today. Kinda makes sence.

New Direction for the war on terrorists.
Send To Service Vets over 60

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing assbackwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry." We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch."

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can h ear the Drill Sgt. in the "New army" now, "Get down and give me ... ER ... one."

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pissed-off old farts with 'attitude' and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

PS: This is purposely in big type so all the old guys out there can read it.

Worth Watching

Hey, yeah, I'm still here. Just busy. I had a great weekend. I got to ride about 150 miles and pay respects to a local hero.

BUT... I got this in an e-mail today.

Again, like here (grrrr!!! I hate not being able to find posts on my own damn blog) , what has happened there cannot be allowed to happen here.