Friday, September 14, 2007

Friday Funnies

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow up in Indiana, for $200.00.

They bought the cow from Indiana and the cow was wonderful. The cow produced lots of milk, and the people were very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows so they would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do. They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side."

The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in Indiana?"

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Indiana?"

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Indiana."


You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3 The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady because she is injured and will die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think outside of the box."

HOWEVER.. (I wonder who the hell decided this was the correct answer?!?)

The correct answer to me is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

Gawd, [wipes tear] I just love happy endings!!!!

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