Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Shopping 101

Guys - For those of you that get dragged to Wal Mart to ‘shop’, here are some fun things to do to break up the boredom.

Ladies - We will entertain ourselves, drag us along at your own risk.

Take boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

Walk up to an employee and tell them in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

Go to the Service Desk and put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers they can come in if they will bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

When a clerk asks if they can help you he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

Look right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while picking your nose.

While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk where the antidepressants are.

Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look " by using different sizes of funnels.

Hide in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yell "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume a fetal position and scream "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

Go into a fitting room, shut the Door, wait awhile, then yell very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!!!”

1 comment:

Freddie said...

These were pretty good.

My favorites: tomato juice and M&Ms.