Monday, July 23, 2007

Another Trip and More Jokes

A fun one!!!

Heading north, on the bike. Going to the Harley Davidson HQ in Milwaukee!!!

Might be wet Wednesday morning... Oh well, at least I won't be at work.

Enjoy these jokes while I get caught up from being gone last week.

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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward will be to hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me."

God commented, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Umm, yes."

Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!"

Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "Hold on." God went to his Celestial super-computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

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A Horse, A Chicken & A Harley:

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around like some of his headless cousins, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. Horse and chicken, chicken and horse.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-downy thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?
(yep, you knew there was going to be moral!)

"When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks"

3 comments:

Queen of Dysfunction said...

DAMN YOU DNR!!!!!!! (shakes fist in air)

DNR said...

What..???

I did not mention that I'm not leaving until Wednesday...

LL said...

Look forward to seeing you! You can dry out at my house. Be safe and gimme a call if you get lost!