Wednesday, January 10, 2007

10 Lessons for 2007

Saw this floating around the e-mail universe. Some are funny. #10 is old. #3 is great LOL!!

1. Life is sexually transmitted.

2. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.

3. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

4. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

5. Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.

7. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

8. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

9. In the 60's, some people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and the same people take Prozac to make it normal.

10. We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration and home land security!

7 comments:

Max and Me said...

just wanted to say hello and...

you sure do say all the right things. i am finding so much comfort in your comments to me. thank you.

Anonymous said...

Numbers 3 and 6 cracked me up.

Judy said...

Great list! (And I don't usually like lists...)

I can't seem to find the community bulletin board, so (I hope you don't mind) I'm posting this here:

POT LUCK SUPPER AT THE WIZARD'S PLACE FRIDAY NIGHT

5:30

BRING A DISH TO PASS (DNR, perhaps you could bring a roadkill main course?)

WIZARD WILL PROVIDE SOME OF RAYMOND'S WINE AND SIGMUND'S MEAD


Elizabeth and Sigmund have agreed to come, Raymond will be there, and Bambi, Flower, and Thumper Jr. have all said they would make an appearance, so please come to meet them in person. Wiley will provide song.

Hope to see you all then!

Pink Icing said...

number 3? Oh how very true...!! Made me smile so much that I am rushing out of this here library straight to the supermarket....

Tom Bailey said...

I have not seen this list yet. It seems like the type of thing I should have been emailed by now.

DirkStar said...

Sometimes the needs of a pregnant wife outweigh the needs of the many...

Cool point about the mad cow...

Funny stuff, dude.

Pepper said...

That is a great list, funny.