Jokes for Thursday

Grandma

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?"

The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."

The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse."

After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone, "Oh, good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday."

The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me shit."


Little Johnny

For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 15-speed mountain bike. His father said, "Johnny, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase. Johnny’s father asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Johnny told him, " I was walking past your room last night and I heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too… I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no bike!"


Benefit Concert for the Croc Hunter

I heard the other day there was going to be a benefit concert for the Croc Hunter’s family… I guess it’s going to turn into a world wide tour, I’ve only heard of 3 bands so far that has signed on… Heart, Sting, and Poison….


LMAO…. I know I’m going to hell… Ya’ll know I’ll be the greeter…