Skull face, it’s not just for Halloween. I wear this all winter when riding in the cold. (any thing under about 35° F)
Received this in an e-mail the other day. HT to SpeedBump, Thanks!!
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When in England at a large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush. He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return." It became very quiet in the room.
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There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?"
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?" Once again, dead silence.
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A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.
At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe its because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.' You could have heard a pin drop!
From this post last week...
I found this video this evening...
I'd really like to hear what you think...
Make that Sunday Funnies. I had something more important to say Friday. See here.
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Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.
After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.
Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"
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What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
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Read out loud . . .
My Dixie Wrecked!
I Am Sofa King We Tar Did!
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Cinderella was fired today from Disney world. She was caught sitting on Pinocchio face screaming “lie to me motherfucker, lie!”
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Why do women wear panties? Because it is a state law that all man holes be covered.
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An old lady was getting off of a bus from a recent blue haired tour. She stopped the driver and told him she was molested on the back of the bus. He asked her what happened and she explained that there was some old man on the back of the bus molesting ladies.
The driver went to the back of the bus and found an old guy crawling around on the floor and asked him, “What the hell are you doing?”
The old guy responded, “I’ve lost my toupee, I thought I found it 3 times, but mine is parted on the side and all of those were parted in the middle”
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A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a bus next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?” The priest replied, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and lack of a bath.” The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
Please read the little cartoon carefully, it's powerful.
We cannot, we must not, ever forget what happened in Europe over 60 years ago, because it could happen again. Anyone, any group, could be the target. It has been said that those who refuse to study history are doomed to repeat it. In this case, those who are attempting to rewrite history are probably planning to repeat it! The hatred is already there, in place, taught to the children from infancy, with promises of glory and honor to those who carry out the plans.
It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. I recieved this in e-mail. It has been sent sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the 6,000,000 (six million) Jews, 20,000,000 (twenty million) Russians, 10,000,000 (ten million) Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated with the German and Russia peoples looking the other way!
Now, more than ever, with Iran, among others, claiming the Holocaust to be "a myth," it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets, because there are others who would like to do it again.
The Islamic extremists are bent on the same thing that Hitler and Stalin were. The conquest of the world and the destruction of anyone who doesn't believe the way they do. The rest of the Muslims who say or do nothing about them are as guilty as the extremists.
This post at Sparrows (All Atwitter) and the fires in SoCal got me thinking...
A slightly different decision a few years ago and I’d be living in SoCal... maybe even one of those in the fire... huh... kinda surreal.
So, if you got a call or came home to find your place on fire, what would you do? Stand there frozen... Call 911 and wait... run in and grab... photos, jewelry, heirlooms... what would you do??
I personally don’t know. I think I’d be in the house throwing stuff out the windows trying to save any and everything possible. Hopefully fighting the fire.
About 3 years ago, my mom came home from work and when she entered the house she could smell smoke. (My parents house is a long ranch, you go from room to room, then a small hall, then a great room/kitchen/dinging/living room then a sun porch) When she opened the door to the next room she was swarmed with smoke. All gathered on the ceiling, down to about 5 feet. She closed the door and went back out side, called 911. She went around to the back of the house and could see flames and thick black smoke in the kitchen window. She ran around to the front of the house and came in a different door (middle of the living/great room)... with a garden hose, a wet rag over her nose and mouth and attacked the fire.
She actually put most of it out and then went for her babies.
My mom runs a ‘do not kill’ animal shelter for dogs and cats. At any given time she will have 100-200 cats and 50-100 dogs in a shelter she has built in town. There is always the special ones that get to stay at the house though. The number has been holding steady at 30 cats, 1 dog for the last couple years. These are the geriatric cats or special needs cats that will not get adopted at her shelter.
She spent the next couple hours finding cats in the smoke, pulling them out, putting them in carriers and rushing them to the vet. Somewhere in there she called friends to chauffer the cats to the vet while she kept the rescue effort going. Somewhere in there also, the firemen showed up and opened doors and put fans in windows.
Old portraits of relatives from the late 1800’s and early 1900’s were black. The glass in the frames had cracked form the heat. All of their books, some first editions form the early 1900’s were black with smoke. There were these real 70’s style fake wood beams on the ceiling in the dinning area, they melted and were dripping from the ceiling. All and I do mean ALL of the Tupperware or any plastic storage containers were ruined. They hold smoke. I believe one of the cats died, all of the rest made it. The vet bill was in the thousands. Eye washing, nasal flushing, baths. Turns out cats are kinda like horses. When scared they go to there favorite hiding/sleeping spot and stay there. All of the ones that had chosen high spots up in closets suffered the worst.
They spent 6 months in an apartment. The cats stayed in their barn. The heirloom stuff was repaired. There are actually companies that specialize and guarantee that they can remove smoke color and smell from clothes, art and books. They are back in the house now. For years growing up we heated with a wood fire. One of those big cast iron stove inserts. They haven’t used it in years, since the fire. Mom can’t stand the smell of smoke.
The cause... A coffee pot. One of those kinds that is ‘always ready’. Pour the water in and it starts making coffee in 30 seconds or less. That means that a heating element is always on or at least sensing the reservoir for water and turning on when water is poured in. The thermal switch broke, the heating element did not turn off. Burnt itself through the counter top and into the cabinet below. Caught dish towels and other paper products and spread from there.
The firemen said that the smoke and heat told them that it had been going for about 3 hours. Another 15 minutes and it would have been ‘a total loss’. If my mom had not attached the fire with the hose... it would have burnt to the ground before the firemen could get there.
I did a little research on this. 33 did vote against the amendment to the bill and those listed below are the 33. I cannot confirm that Col Harry G. Riley wrote the below letter. I was able to confirm that the Abraham Lincoln quote is correct.
The amendment to add English as the official language passed 64-33. It should have been unanimous.
Regardless of the author, I think the letter is good and the more places that publish it the more it will be read and maybe American will stand up and stop the madness that is Congress.
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33 Senators Voted Against English as America’s Official Language June 6, 2007.
On Wed, 6 Jun 2007 23:35:23 -0500, Colonel Harry G. Riley, U.S. Army (Ret.), wrote:
Senators,
Your vote against an amendment to the Immigration Bill 1348, to make English America's official language is astounding. On D-Day no less when we honor those that sacrificed in order to secure the bedrock character and principles of America. I can only surmise your vote reflects a loyalty to illegal aliens.
I don't much care where you come from, what your religion is, whether you're black, white or some other color, male or female, democrat, republican or independent, but I do care when you're a United States Senator, representing citizens of America and vote against English as the official language of the United States
Your vote reflects betrayal, political surrender, violates your pledge of allegiance, dishonors historical principle, rejects patriotism, borders on traitorous action and, in my opinion, makes you unfit to serve as a United States Senator... impeachment, recall, or other appropriate action is warranted.
Worse, 4 of you voting against English as America 's official language are presidential candidates: Senator Biden, Senator Clinton, Senator Dodd, and Senator Obama.
Those 4 Senators vying to lead America but won't or don't have the courage to cast a vote in favor of English as America's official language when 91% of American citizens want English officially designated as our language.
This is the second time in the last several months this list of Senators have disgraced themselves as political hacks... unworthy as Senators and certainly unqualified to serve as President of the United States.
If America is as angry as I am, you will realize a back-lash so stunning it will literally rock you out of your panties... and preferably, totally out of the United States Senate.
The entire immigration bill is a farce ... your action only confirms this really isn't about America ; it's about self-serving politics... despicable at best.
'Never argue with an idiot; they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.' ~ anonymous
The following senators voted against making English the official language of America :
Akaka (D-HI)
Bayh (D-IN) [Indiana, we need to get this guy out of office, FUCKTARD!! - DNR]
Biden (D-DE) Wants to be President?
Bingaman (D-NM)
Boxer (D-CA)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Clinton (D-NY) Wants to be President?
Dayton (D-MN)
Dodd (D-CT) Wants to be President?
Domenici (R-NM) Coward, protecting his Senate seat...
Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D-WI) Not unusual for him
Feinstein (D-CA)
Harkin (D-IA)
Inouye (D-HI)
Jeffords (I-VT)
Kennedy (D-MA)
Kerry (D-MA) Wanted to be President
Kohl (D-WI)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Lieberman (D-CT) Disappointment here.....
Menendez (D-NJ)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murray (D-WA)
Obama (D-IL) Wants to be President?
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV) Senate Majority Leader
Salazar (D-CO)
Sarbanes (D-MD)
Schumer (D-NY)
Stabenow (D-M)
'Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale, and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled or hanged.' ~ President Abraham Lincoln
Born in south-western PA and lived my later teen years in east TN taught me to love the mountains. I've traveled through them before, taking pictures to show friends and to help me re-live the awe I feel every time I pass through, but the film never seems to be wide enough, or real enough. These days I just drive (or ride) through and look around in wonder. It is amazing I don't crash and burn.
I took these pictures coming through Bean Station, TN. One is looking down about 1,300 feet to Cherokee Lake. The gas station pic is hard to realize what you are looking at. On one side of the road is a gas station. The other is a rock wall about 75 feet high. Then of course there is the ever present kudzu. So pretty and green but it will over take everything. And a tunnel. That was cool on the bike. The rumble was awesome.
I wish I cold down load the experiences, the fall colors starting to 
over take the green, the smells of home heating fires from the night before. You really should ride the roads less traveled. It is good for the soul.
Remember this post... Greg Bowman died September 8th or 9th. this is a small bit of that other post.
During our quick dinner, it was decided that I *gulp* should present the flag to Mrs. Bowman... wow, this is more of an honor than I can describe. I’m glad it was about an hour to Princeton, IL because I spent the time composing my self and trying to find some words that might express what I was feeling and what needed to be said.
When we got there, the official service was over so we went to the Bowman’s house. About 25 members of the family were there and gathered around and I presented THE flag. It has never been harder for me to speak. I think I did ok.
Greg's brother Jeff was there. I remmeber the tears in his eyes as I presented the flag to his sister-in-law, Greg's wife. I remember a hug from him and thanks for bringing them THE flag.
Last night I recieved a call... coming home from another PGR mission... a car crossed the center line and hit Jeff head on... He's in a coma, it doesn't look good.
In the last year, this family has also lost a son due to PTSD from Iraq.
Please pray for him, for his family, his kids. PLEASE!!!
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Edit: corrected loss of son.
I went for a ride this weekend. Went to see my brother, in east Tennessee. Odometer puts me at 895 miles. Not bad for leaving at about 1400 Saturday afternoon and getting back about 2100 Sunday evening.
On the way down, somewhere around Lexington, cruising along at about 80, in heavy traffic, I catch a van out of the corner of my eye, he swerves suddenly. Before you get all panicky, he was two lanes away, but still, swerving your car near a motorcycle rider will get you 'looked' at... I realize he was dodging a piece of truck tire and not on a mission to freak out the motor cycle guy two lanes over.. *deep breath*. He missed it, well most of it. Clipped a little piece and sent it flying up in the air behind him. Keep in mind all of this happened in a second, maybe less. When I refocused my attention back to the task at hand and my lane... there, right in front of me was the rest of the tire. OH SHIT!!! Do my own version of the swerve manuver and thankfully missed the tire. PHEWWW!!! That was close. Bad enough hitting one of those alligator bastards while driving a car, but on a bike... at 80 mph... I don't even want to think about it.
You know how wheel ruts can pull you along some times... kinda like keeping you in your lane or pushing you out... Some where else on this ride, I found some nice big ruts. You know the kind, left by the double wide tires of 10,000 semis. Again, I'm just cruising along, minding my own business, probably 80 again... maybe a little more... turn signal, check mirror, look past shoulder, move to the left to pass. OH HOLY SHIT!!! HANG ON!!! This crazy wheel rut throws me into the next lane like I was on a sport bike. Sling, zip!! now I correct the sudden movement and ofcourse come back the other way... Got way to damn close to the car I was passing. Like "reach out and touch the fender" close. Nothing like wheels going sideways and a rapidly approaching car fender to wake your shit up.
And lastly, I hit a hole. Good gawd it was a hole. Some times they are bone chairing and can make that cracking sound in your neck. But this one, this hole in the road was an over achiever. Front wheel hits "slam"! Head snaps forward, shoulders are stressed. The sudden impact has started a momentum change, I'm kinda slouching down, head and body leaning forward from the drop in the front wheel... then the rear wheel hits "crash"!! The bike falls out from under me and as I fall trying to keep my seat on the seat, the rear wheel hits the other side of the hole and comes up to meet me, smacks me in the ass and launches me into the air. I have no idea how far or how long I was hovering above the seat, but it was long enough in the zero gravity area of a free fall that the 'boys' moved... no longer in a nice tucked in spot on the seat sublimely enjoying the rumble that IS Harley Davidson... NOooo!!! They decided to go on a "walk about". Crush!! *sound of glass breaking* (at least that is what it felt like...) Oh God, I'm gonna throw up! (the guys can relate, I'm sure. ladies, ask your fav man about being hit so hard you feel like up-chucking...) I came down HARD on my own shit... That was like 6 hours ago... they're still sore. And I think the left one is swollen...
If this was my last ride for the season (yeah right!!) it was a good one. Got to visit with the lil'bro, had some Jack, had some wings, some Jack, a hot dog... more Jack. Watched The 300 and..... ummmm more Jack (he says I drank half a bottle. I think he poured it down the drain...) Ran over to the parents house, said hi. Visited for an hour or two. (the next morning... wonder if they could tell I was still... toasted) Made it home in time to watch the Steelers loose, bastards!
So, how was your weekend?
It’s been a year... wow! Yippee frick’n skipy!!
Everything I really wanted to say about today I kinda said here.
I’ve met (is reading someone’s blog considered ‘meeting’ them? I’m still such a grasshopper) so many interesting and fascinating people out here. No, I'm not going t list everyone, i know I'd forget someone and that would suck. Just check the blogroll and know that's about half of what I read.
Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting over the last 12 months. It’s been fun, it’s been real and it’s been real fun.
It took me 364.75 days, but I think I finally broke out of my blog-fathers circle. I met Preposterous Ponderings and Tequila Mockingbird yesterday. They’re not on his blog roll... Great writers, go check them out. Be sure you swallow your coffee first. I’m not responsible for monitor damage or nasaly discharge of your lunch, m’k?
As my gift to you I was going to label all of my posts so you could find like-stuff easier (Zen, jokes, missions, etc) but the weather just won’t cooperate. Too many nice days and the bike, she just keeps calling me...
“Look, the sun is out! We could get in 200 miles before dark, and another 50 after sunset!! Come on big guy, you know you want to ride me...”
See how she is?!? heh, hell yea I like to rider her... I swear I can hear her start purring in the garage sometimes.
Wait, this isn’t a bike post.... where was I...
Oh yeah... so I keep riding on nice weather weekends and haven’t done the great blogaversery post or the labeling. And this weekend, it’s gonna be in the 70s Saturday and 80s Sunday. Hoping for a thousand miles this weekend. We’ll see.
One year summary:
5,589 visitors
8,721 page views
232 posts
I added a few humming bird pics to Pho Tog, let me know what you think.
A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man, standing alone. She approached him. "My name is Carmen," she told him. "That's a beautiful name," he replied, "Is it a family name?""No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.""What's your name?" she asked.He said, "Bob Titsenbeer
Just call me DNR Assenharleyjack!!! LOL!!!
Saturday... nothing went as planned. Had to stop by the shop and get some pics of the old bike. Still trying to get it re-built with out taking out a 2nd on the house. Should have been there 30 min max. We were there 90min... Frank, the owner is 60+ and can talk bikes all day. He knows so much and has such great stories. I just can't tell him 'I have to go'. Had to meet a co-worker in about 60 miles west of the bike shop. On the way we swung by my office and I showed Don around, again, should have been 20 min but we were there almost an hour. From the town out west, we had to be at Cam Atterbury at by 1 (about 110 miles south). We left Lebanon at 12:30... we didn't make it by 1. They (the SAR team we were to meet) were running late too, so this was ok. We were there to hide for some search dogs and had to leave at 4 to be about 75 miles north at 5. We left Atterbury at 5:45... Made it to Fishers by 6:30. Yep, 75 miles in 45 min.
250-300 miles, nothing goes as planned... It was a good day!
Og played the Evolution meme!!! Go check it out!!!
OK... so Og made up and tagged me with his own meme.
I sit in awe.
My answers are below.
As the author, you don’t have to answer, so I guess he’s off the hook. If you read this consider yourself tagged.
BAWHAhahahahahah!!!!!!!!
The Og Meme
Who is your favorite midget?
He who fits in my hand...
Seeking wisdom, the Emperor Gyo sent a messenger to a hermit named Kyoyu, offering to hand the empire over to him. Kyoyu not only flatly refused, but upon hearing such a foul suggestion washed his ears in the river Ei. Another Hermit, Sofu, coming there to water his ox and seeing this, led his ox away, saying he would not let it drink such filthy water. - Zen Story
The whole world is you. Yet you keep thinking there is something else. - Hsueh-Feng
As naturally as the oak bears an acorn and the vine a gourd, man bears a poem, either spoken or done. - Henry David Thoreau
Settling on a blade of grass, a dead leaf; the dew does not discriminate over what to call home. - Soin
You can tell wether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell wether a man is wise by his questions. - Naguib Mahfouz
In your heart, you already know. - Zen Saying
Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation. Tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding and trilling bolster his ego. - Jean Arp
Another Meme
Jan at Vinegar and Honey tagged me with a meme. Thanks Jan... I have found that memes are a great way to lean about other folks and that some blogers just don’t like them. Jan says this is her first meme and having to look up the word 'meme'. I remember that experience.... (here)
Rules:
Explain how your blog has evolved and site 5 posts that back up your claims.
Why did you call your blog ____?
Tag 5 others.
Hummm... (I hate essay questions!!)
I started bloging to keep a friends (Dazd of Dazd and Confzd From Here) readers updated on his medical condition. The earliest post on that topic was my second post (here). Do you consider this a 'real' post? If not, then that was my first post.
I’m not sure I have changed or evolved much in my first year. I still have an occasional observation (older one, newer one) and I still talk about our fallen soldiers and the emotions I experience at PGR rides and gatherings (older, newer). I still have a bit of a smart ass take on things. If anything has evolved I feel a little freer to express my thoughts and I must confess my language has gotten a little more raw. (old, new)
I think my readers have changed. The group that started here were my friends friends. They seem to have left, at least they have stopped commenting *wonders why*. Perhaps because I don’t comment on their blogs very much any more.
What has evolved is my involvement in a digital record of things around me. “What...?” started out as my only outlet, now I have 3 others. Click on my profile link and you’ll find 2 of the others. The 4th is... a super secrete blog. Things there are... different. Anonymity has it’s rewards. *grin*
Why did I call this thing “What...?!?” and I’ll add why is the URL ‘ihadtoputsomething’;
Sombody once coughed and coughe when I said I’m something of a smart-ass. guess he thinks I'm a full blown smart-ass. So, “What...?” just fits.
What? Did I say that? Did I think that out loud...???
What? Like you weren’t thinking it!!
What? Did I really read/hear/see that?
So many different inflections and punctuations give one word so many different meanings. Like I said, it fits.
The URL is just a basic expression of my smart-assedness. Guess I could have gone with ‘whatdidisaythat’ but hadn’t decided on the title when the blogger site wanted a URL. I still remember thinking, “this needs to be something easy to remember, easy to spell... I have to put something... but what?.... ‘I have to put something’ heh heh, ‘ihadtoputsomething’!! Cool!! That’s it!!” And the rest, as they say, is history.
The tagged;
Dazed - (the blog-father) this should be interesting.
Og - I pretty sure he hates memes and doesn’t play. His spin on this should be great, if he plays along.
Freddie - I think I know her answers. She is a great writer and her answers will inspire.
LL - I don’t think she likes to play the meme game either, but we’ll see. Another that should be enlightening.
Dick - He has left the blog-o-sphere. I miss his whit, humor and un-apologetic take on so many things. I know he is still around, lurking and reading. Maybe he’ll post in comments. One meme he did a few months back was the most hilarious thing I ever read.
Have you ever had one of those days when you brain was racing around a million different things? And none of it work...
I want something really bad.
Tom and his family.
Amy, she is doing better.
Ian, I need to call my brother.
Riding this weekend, where, with who... alone... how many miles?
I have a meme to finish.
Lunch, in office or eat out.
Should have rode in today, 42° is not THAT cold.
Buy a lottery ticket.
Update my resume.
Just to name a few. I really need to finish that meme. Don’t I Jan?
Damn-it!!! Damn-it!!! Damn-it!!! Damn-it!!!
It’s bad enough having your kids not listen to you but now I think no one is listening. I said it here, everyone is to stop, k.
Another buddy, Tom, has cancer. damn-it!! Stage 4... the worst...
Vietnam Vet, father of 3, married 30 +/- years...
He’s not 60.
His wife calls me “Mr. Hells Angel”, his daughter calls me dad...
fuck-it!!!
He has less than 12 months.
God give me the strength to be there for him and his family.
Damn it all to hell!!!
Jeese!! I don't travel abroad much. My trip to Scotland was 30 years ago.
How about you? Travle much?
October 6th and 7th, both set record highs around here. 90 both days, we broke records from 1917.
Got out and rode a bit. May never have t-shirt weather in October again. Met a friend on Indy’s south side and we basically criss-crossed southern Indian. Went through Nashville, Bloomington, Shelbyville, New Palestine. About 250 miles. It was a great ride!
Took the wife out for a short ride Sunday afternoon. She’s not a big fan so we only got about 50 miles. Went through some of the little towns up north. Not sure we even left the county.
Overall it was a great weekend, hope yours was excellent.
I’ve been tagged with a meme... haven’t done one of these in a long time. Hope to have my version/answers up this afternoon.
A collection of blond jokes;
A quiz. How did you do?
An R rated joke, you've been warned...
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Blonde Jokes
BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is the vacuum on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
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Test for Dementia
Below are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question.
You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are....
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? (no peeking)
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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)
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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can YOU overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question:Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 .
Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000
Now add 10 . What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
.....Maybe.
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. You must read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair
of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you, he can speak!
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The R rated joke
THE HORTH WITHPERER
Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. Sam asks "How will I recognize him?"
That's easy; he's a midget with a speech impediment."
So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.
"A female horth."
So he shows him a prized filly.
"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?"
Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?" So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.
"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf?"
The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I see her twat?"
Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.
The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrase that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?"
About 10 years ago a friend and I were eating lunch at a local sub shop (not SubWay). He had just been diagnosed with diabetes and was watching what he ate and counting calories. Nothing real strict, just reading the packages and looking at the calorie charts in the various restaurants.
This one day he decided he needed to count my calories too. My lunch that day was a foot long Italian sub, a big bag of chips and a 32 oz Pepsi. Actually had 2 drinks (free refills) before it was over.
He was concentrating on something and had this OMG look on his face. Then he looks at me and says, “You know how many calories you’re eating?”
Phft NO, I remember thinking.
He says “2300...”
WHAT...?? That’s more than the daily recommended for an adult... the DAILY amount. At one meal. And I was going to have at least 2 more cans of Pepsi in the afternoon before I left work. We guessed I was eating 4,000 to 5,000 calories a day with breakfast dinner and sodas all day.
At the time I was proud.
I could eat, A LOT. Still can. My taco salad could feed a family of 4. Always have been able to eat piles of food, a whole large pizza, two 12” subs, 16+ oz steak a huge baked potato and 5 ears of corn... You get the idea.
I’m 5’-8”. I’ve been as much as 275. The weight charts say I’m ‘obese’. No one ever guesses my weight right, they’re usually off by 30 lbs or more. I 'wear it well' or so they say. I’ve been hovering around 265 +/- 3 for about a year. I swear I don’t know how women can get excited about loosing 5 lbs. I vary 3-5 lbs day to day. Hell, I can EAT 5 pounds... 2 burgers with fixens, fries, 2 -3 32 oz sodas. Ya figure, at 8 lbs per gallon (weight of water) I’ve got 4 lbs in 64 oz of drink. Anyway, a couple weeks ago I started eating less. Especially less when eating late. Sometimes we don’t get dinner until after 9 pm and I was still eating a pile of food. That was bad.
This weekend and again today I have broken the 260 barrier. 259 pounds, I can’t remember the last time I weighed this little. Not that 259 is ‘little’, but I’ll take it.
My goals are 10#. Nothing too crazy. Took me years to get up to here. I’m prepared to take a year or two to get down to... my ultimate goal.
Wish me luck. I’ll keep you posted.
Thanks to my inspirations:
Og - I don’t want to do what you did
Dazd - I don’t want to be where you’ve been
Mike - He doesn't blog, but he's the co-worker in the story.
EDIT 03OCT07 1523 - added Mike to "Thanks" list.
Saturday;
Open house at Search and rescue Training Center at Camp Atterbury
Welcome home the 1313th at the National Guard Armory at Atterbury
Ride 200 miles to a party near Ft Wayne
Sunday;
Flag line for Sgt Gerald Cassidy
Welcome home for a soldier we sent off a year ago.. Damn good to see one come back...
Monday;
Funeral service for Sgt Cassidy
Tuesday;
Viewing for American Legion president. Died in motorcycle accident about a week ago
Wednesday;
Funeral for AL president
Escort for Traveling Vietnam Wall Memorial coming to Hamilton County for a week
I’ll try to expand later... maybe.
