For those that are interested....

Gary, FIL... Friend

A few years after I was married, my mother in law divorced her husband. Don was a loud, pompous, self serving man. It needed to happen.

A few years after the divorce Fran met a new man, Gary. He swept her off her feet, in the classic and romantic courting her kind of way. He made her happy, she knew she was appreciated with him. After a couple years they married.

Gary was a great guy. Loved to laugh and loved showing Fran a good time. As the years passed Gary got sick. Lung disease. He was forced to be on oxygen and about a year ago he received a lung transplant. He had been on the transplant list for over a year and during that time the oxygen deprivation he suffered damaged his kidneys, liver and gall bladder.

For about 10 weeks now he has been in the hospital.

A few days ago Gary decide to not be on any life support systems. Expecting a rather immediate end people gathered and waited. The strength of the man prevailed and he lived, conscious, talking and visiting with family and friends for two more days.

Sunday December 23 at about 5 am Gary died in his sleep. On his terms, in his way he met his maker.

Gary, my friend, my father in law... you will be missed. Rest in peace.

Jingle Bombs

Another great Christmas laugh. Found this over at Dazd's place.


Jeff Dunham; Achmed's "Jingle Bombs"

Add to My Profile More Videos

Edit 19JAN08 - fixed the link to Dazd's post

BAWHAHAHahhahahah!!!!!!

Need a laugh???

My friend Preposterous Ponderings has a story to tell. I swear, you'll laugh!!

Go HERE, bring a tissue.

Blondes

TEXAS BLONDE

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Texas arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."

With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and squealed "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers...and then picked up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."

Moral of the story: Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb.

But all men... are men.

Remember Sgt. Kenneth R. Booker

This was Sunday, December 9th...

I left the house at about 7 am. It was cold, about 31° if I remember, and raining. Not real hard, just enough to keep you face and hands wet if you were on a motorcycle.

The ride was... ok. Fitting. A man had died, doing what he believed, fighting for freedoms, yours, mine and those of a people nearly 5,000 miles away. He IS a hero.

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IMMEDIATE RELEASE No. 1327-07
November 17, 2007

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DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Sgt. Kenneth R. Booker, 25, of Vevay, Ind., died Nov. 14, in Mukhisa, Iraq, of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 23rd Infantry Regiment, 4th Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Lewis, Wash.


For more information, media may contact the Fort Lewis public affairs office at (253) 967-0152, (253) 967-0147 or after hours at (253) 967-0015 (ask for the Public Affairs Officer on call).

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When we stand flag lines at these ‘missions’ our placement is random. That is, I don’t always stand 3rd on down on the left side. We just walk over and stand. If I remember right there was about 50, maybe 60 of us there. When I took my place with a flag the sidewalk was covered, so I went to a place facing the doors across the drive. The limousines and hurs would pull up in front of me. As Sergeant booker was being carried out, I was moved to tears. Standing in front of me, at attention and saluting was Ken’s father. Sergeant (I believe) Charles Booker. Army uniform pressed, standing proud. Lord, did I cry.

Sgt. Booker - Know that I am grateful for your families service and the sacrifice you have made. Ken will not be forgotten. God bless you.

************************************************

Here is a related story.

Bloggers Anonymous

Hey everyone!! My name is DNR, I’m a blog-aholilc.
It’s been 15 days (9 if you count the troll) since my last real post.
*crowd says “Hi DNR”*

Gawd, I’ve missed you guys!! Work is so far up my ass, I have to ask my boss if I can take a shit.

Jeese, I have 167 unread posts on my blog reader...Og has 22, Tanker Brothers have 22, Vinegar and Honey has 18. Even Freddie had 9 or something ( I read those yesterday ;) ) Looks like I have some serious reading to do... and a serious post or two.

I need a way to dictate posts, I swear, I can recite a 30 min read in the car going home but then never have time to put it to paper... err blog. I need to just record it and type it later.

I’m really liking this music list thing. I turned on a random song thing so each time you come here you’ll hear different song, supposedly. Quite a diverse selection. Makes me wish I could burn these to a CD or MP3 player and take them on the road.

Bye for now, serious post coming...

5

4

3

...

...


Oh yeah... does everyone use a reader these days??? No one has commented on the new template/background (lack there of) I did a few weeks ago.
*crickets chirp*
*guess everyone is gone for Christmas Vacation*

Little Johnny

LITTLE JOHNNY ON MATH
A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Johnny. He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'
Then little Johnny says, 'I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
To which Little Johnny replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the Wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'

LITTLE JOHNNY ON MATH (Part 2)
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic
'Why?' asks the father?
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies Johnny.
'But that's right!' says his dad.
'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
'What's the f_cking difference?' asks the father
'That's what I said!' Said Johnny

LITTLE JOHNNY ON ENGLISH
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
Johnny says Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'

LITTLE JOHNNY ON GRAMMAR
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'
The teacher replied, 'Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly, and I will allow You to go.'
Little Johnny, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'

LITTLE JOHNNY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called! On little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. 'My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael!'
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Johnny. 'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was Pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!''

LITTLE JOHNNY ON GETTING OLDER
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
Little Johnny replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old..' The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little Johnny answered, 'No, he minded his own fucking business.

I LOVE Little Johnny!!!!!

Music - Rocks the Soul

Found the play list music thingy over at Chromed Curses. I too had to modify the width a little to make it fit on the blog side bar.

Enjoy some of my favorite tunes, I'll be adding others as I come across them.

An Open Letter to a. jones

A comment was left twice, in two different posts, that needs addressed. Since the chicken shit chose to be anonymous, I choose to address him/her here.

Troll

You of all people should remember the day the US got involved in YOUR war. If it wasn’t for those heroic men then, you’d be speaking German now.

But that aside, you come into my house, insult my beliefs and MY family, anonymously... FUCK YOU, a. jones. FUCK YOU!!

I get rather irritated at you far left fucktards that can’t realize if it wasn’t for the heroes, those willing to fight for freedom, you would have none. You do realize that you owe them your life, right? No, I think you don’t. You believe you are entitled, should have these freedoms just because you grace us with your presence. Yeah, right, you worthless piece of shit.

As for the heroes you mock today... They fight there to keep it from coming here (or to the UK), you KNOW that!! I know you do.

If my son was lost in this war, this conflict.... I would mourn and have more sorrow than I’m sure you can comprehend. AND, be so proud of him for making a choice, his choice, and fighting for what he believes. Again, I do not believe you can comprehend this concept.

Torture, heh, if some militant suspected Muslim (or yourself) has to go a day or two with out food or sleep, be forced to stand for hours at a time or have their Koran pissed on, to save one American life, so be it. I will sleep well tonight knowing that there are men and women willing to do WHATEVER is necessary to get the job done.

a. jones, you are a fucking useless piece of shit that has no respect for anyone. Not even yourself. You are not worth the time it has taken me to write this. I very rarely wish ill will upon any one but in your case I will make an exception. When the next subway attack occurs over there, I truly hope you die slowly. Looking into the eyes of a medical professional that will choose to let you die, because you are hopeless and that there are others around that can be saved.

December 7th

A giant was awakened 66 years ago. The world went to war, America and all of her people went to war.

As much as we must remember this:

<-----------------------

<-----------------------

<-----------------------

<-----------------------

We must also remember the sacrifice made at Perl harbor Sunday December 7th, 1941. To all of those that lived through those times, thank you for your sacrifice. I pray our nation would have your resolve.

To all of those who served, I truly owe you my freedoms.

Thank You!!

I would be honored to meet you any day.
God Bless.

For some more December 7th tributes, see;

This at Dazd’s place
This at Tanker Brothers
This also at Tanker Brothers

DaBear - Jeff Bowman Update

Remember this post - here?

His family has been keeping a blof recording Jeff's progress for all of his extended family.

You have to go there and read this last post from Jeff's dad. I had chills, and tears.

Haiku 2

The weekly Haiku competition is heating up over at Sparrows. I'm in the top ten again (last time).

Go over, take read and give a vote. You don't have to vote for me... BUT... I know another solder that would love to have one of those deluxe care packages.

Many thanks to Sparrow for starting and doing this. Who ever would have thought I'd have fun writing poetry??? HEH!!!

James Pleak Commander of American Legion Post No. 70, shelbyville, IN

As a Patriot Guard Rider, I’ve been to many funerals in the last year and a half... too many.

Friday I rode to honor a Vietnam Veteran, Jim Pleak.

Jim’s family was returning fro a Thanksgiving vacation in Florida. A single vehicle accident in a construction zone cause both rear tires of their van to blow out, causing it to roll. Jim, his wife and their adult daughter were killed. Jim’s son and grand-daughter (daughter’s daughter) survived.

In all of the funerals I have been to or even seen on the road in my life. I have never seen one with three hearses.

This was too much loss to fully comprehend.

My heart and prayers go out to Jimmy and Kim. God’s peace be with you.

The full story form a local paper is here.

This Gave Me Chills

As a Marine Dad, I can have only respect for the dedication and commitment this level of perfection requires.

HAPPY AND SAD

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time".

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your dick's bigger than your brother's".

Be Comfortable Riding or Don’t

I heard the other day that an acquaintance that rides with the PGR was selling his bike. His reason, “...to dangerous...”. In the Indiana PGR and locally we have had 4 or 5 deaths that are motor cycle related this year.

I know riding a motor cycle is dangerous. But is it any more dangerous this year than last year? I don’t think so.

So, what has changed? Why does a long time rider think there are more accidents or that it is more unsafe now than before?

Four years ago I personally knew 4 maybe 6 people that owned motor cycles. I did not own one, wouldn’t until the kids were mostly grown. The guys I knew rode only in great weather. The temperature had to be over 76 and below 90, no chance of rain, they left after 9 or 10 in the morning and were home way before dark.

Now... heh. I know at least a hundred riders and have acquaintance knowing (they know me and my name but I can’t remember theirs) for over 200. And these guys (me included) RIDE.

Some mornings we are up and on the road before 0400. There have been days that I didn’t get home till after mid-night. Rain, shine, fog, sleet, cold or heat. The only thing we won’t start out in is snow but if it starts once we are on the road.... we keep going, slower, but we keep going.

Is riding more dangerous now than before, no. We, the comfort and non riders of yester year know more riders than before. Those 4 or 6 guys might ride 10k miles all together in a season, the 100+ I know now will ride 10-12k miles each.

Hummm... what’s my point? Did I have one? Right now I’m not sure.

I will say this, if you are uncomfortable riding, for any reason. Stop.
If you are wigged out because a friend from Illinois was found dead along the road. Bike and body off in the grass found by chance by a jogger the next morning... Stop.
If the fact that a car swerving to go around another car turning right crosses the double yellow and sends another friend to the hospital in a coma eats at your stomach... Stop.
If knowing a drunk driver, semi unconscious can come up behind another acquaintance, strike his bike, knock him down, drag him a quarter of a mile under the pick-up truck killing him freaks you out... stop.

You’re gong to hurt yourself and maybe someone else. Maybe me.

From The National Press Club

A very eye opening 5 minute speach.

Click here

I'm Busy...

Still catching up from last week.

Did find this though, over at Jan's. Pretty much nailed me.
I don't quite get the picture though.

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The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Visual/Spatial You probably feel at home with the visual arts, maps, charts, and diagrams. You tend to think in images and pictures. You learn best by looking at pictures and slides, watching videos or movies, and visualizing. People like you include sculptors, painters, surgeons and engineers. Visual/Spatial 82% Intrapersonal 79% Logical/Mathematical 71% Interpersonal 57% Verbal/Linguistic 54% Bodily/Kinesthetic 43% Musical/Rhythmic 32%

I Kill You!!!

Found this over at Kats.

I'll be back!! LOL!!!

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The Terminator The Terminator can be good or evil. It just depends on who's manipulating his circuits. When he's evil, he's a killing machine. When he's good, he's---well, a killing machine. He often comes back in time to protect certain human beings from other Terminators. He has no sense of stealth or subtlety and will do whatever it takes to accomplish his mission. He has a curious penchant for sunglasses and black leather.

Do You Drive??

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Yes? Go HERE and be educated.
.

Suppliers and Competitors

What does it say for business or the future of a company when one of your major suppliers buys a major competitor?

See here...

Philips makes the lamps (light bulbs) we use in almost all of the lighting fixtures we manufacture. They also own Advance ballast. They make fluorescent and HID ballasts that we use. So, you see, they are one of our major suppliers.

From the news article, they now own a major competitor of ours.

2008 is quickly becoming a very interesting year

Is It Good To Be back...

It IS Monday!

Been out of the office since Friday the 16th.

188 e-mails, 136 posts in my RSS Reader
(wonder which I'll finish first...?)

Plus there is online Christmas shopping to do...

Hope you have a great Monday!!

UPDATE: 11:40 am
174 e-mials
95 posts
I better get to work...

Zen Summary VIII

Sneezing, I lost sight of the skylark. - Yayu

What saves a man to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it. - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

The wind is cold; through the torn paperscreen; the moon of October. - Sokan

There is something obscure which is complete before heaven and earth arose; tranquil, quiet standing alone without change, moving without peril. It could be the mother of everything. Not knowing its name, I call it Tao. - Lao-tsu

You are what you is. - Frank Zappa

You cannot avoid paradise. You can only avoid seeing it. - Charlotte Joko Beck

Zen is like looking for the spectacles that are sitting on your nose. - D. T. Suzuki

For studying Zen, one should have quiet quarters. Be moderate in food and drink. Cast aside all involvements and discontinue all affairs. Do not think of good or evil; do not deal with right or wrong. Do not intend to make yourself a Buddha, much less, be attached to sitting still. - Dogen

Last Saturday Catch-Up

OK, I'm lame. Last Friday was my last day at work and I've not been on the computer since Friday evening... so let me catch up a few things.

Last Saturday, the 17th, I did some Thanksgiving things. Wait... let me back up some more.

Last Thanksgiving (Nov 2006) I read this.

It has to be one of the most moving and profound things I have ever read. Jay at "Kill the Goat" is an incredible writer, she makes me laugh and think with each and every post she makes.

Anyway... After reading that last year I promised myself I would do more. I am blessed, we have plenty. I wanted to do more.

So, Saturday morning, this year, I met with some other volunteers at a food bank and delivered Thanksgiving dinners. I got to personally deliver to 6 elderly or poor families living around here. They were big ole banana boxes stuffed with apples, butter, rice, ham (canned) and 3 loafs of bread among many other things.

Hearing, "Oh, come on in. Aren't you a dear", made me smile. We were instructed to ask if they wanted us to place the boxes on a counter or table top. (there was no way they could lift these boxes). "Happy Thanksgiving" as I'd leave the homes. They were smiling form ear to ear and waving like one of their relatives was leaving after a visit.

I know, it was nothing major. But I did help in a small way. Going to do it again for Christmas.

That was from 0730 to 1000.

After that I went home and got the bike and headed to the south side of Indianapolis to meet some other PGR members. See, though a huge group of like mined individuals, we gathered several hundred Christmas stockings and 'goodies' to be sent to the troops. All together we stuffed (yes stuffed, the 'fixed price' boxes could barely be taped shut) 430 boxes to be be sent to our troops. We loaded them onto a trailer and shipped them out. The Indiana PGR paid the shipping.

It was a great morning!!!

I spent the reset of the day riding around southern Indiana. Guess I put about 250 miles on her Saturday, got home about 2200.

Posting for me is going to be hit or miss over the holiday, soooo if I don't talk... errrr read you before then, have a great Thanksgiving and please, thank a soldier.

Good Gawd, I Laughed My Ass Off

By now everyone has seen the "Achmed the Dead Terrorist" video, right?
If not, here it is...



When this first came around I went looking for a show around here. I cannot tell you how excited I was when I found that Jeff Dunham was coming to Indy. But, alas, the show was sold out, almost 4 weeks in advance. I more or less gave up, I'd like to go but I'm not paying scalper prices for tickets. THEN... Tuesday afternoon a guy at work says "I've got 2 that can't be used, they are $36 seats, I'll let you have the pair for $50." Shit, I took those tickets so fast...
Anyway, the wife wasn't interested, 'thing 2' wasn't interested... so me and my riding buddy, SpeedBump, went.

Oh man, my head hurts and my stomach hurts this morning. I laughed my fucking ass off!!! I laughed so hard I spent the whole 2 hour show wiping tears off my face.

Even if you have seen this video and watch his other videos on the net... the live performance is... fantastic.

Walter
Achmed the Dead Terrorist
Peanut
José the Jalapeño on a Stick
and
Bubba J

What a group!! If you get a chance, I highly recommend going to see this show.

Walter for President

Vote for DNR!!!

My first time trying a Haiku poem and I’m in the running!!

Go here to read the 10 finalists and if you are of a mind... vote.

The prize is a deluxe care package to a soldier of my choosing... Am I jinxing myself if I have one chosen already?? Hope not!!

Stuff...

Writing escapes me right now... how about a brain dump?

Our VP of sales was let go yesterday. “no need for you in our go forward plan” he was told... He’s a great guy. He will be missed. I wish him well

The holidays are fast approaching, last year I had no Christmas spirit. I don’t think we put up any decorations. Did a tree, our fake tree (YUCK!!) I hate fake trees but with cats and dogs, you have a fake tree or little piles of thrown up pine needles all around the house *urp* especially if you step in/on one heading to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Thanks giving... makes me another year older. Not THE day (this year), close enough that it is every once in a while.

Diets suck. I hit 259 almost a month ago and can’t seem to get to 249. I need to exorcise more...

body clock is FUCKED up. Even if I get 3 hours of sleep on a work night I get a second wind about 9-10pm then I’m up then 1:30. If I get lots of sleep, heh, forgetaboutit, I might as while stay up all night.

Headache.... this is like the second or third day in a row with this killer head ache. Feels like it is in the top of my head. And there is a pressure that feels like my nose and eyes are going to explode. Sinuses, right?
Every time I get a headache, I think about that scene in “Kindergarten Cop” when some little kids say the teacher’s headache is a tumor and Schwartzniger says “It’s not a tumor” in that thick Austrian accent. Hahahahaha

Coffee, I need coffee.

I’ll work on a flash back post for ya. Later!

Zen Summary VII

Flowers in the summer, fires in the fall. - Zen Saying

The turnip farmer points the way with a turnip. - Issa

I embrace emerging experience. I participate in discovery. I am a butterfly. I am not a butterfly collector. - William Stafford

From the first not a thing is. - Hui-neng

Both the slayer and the slain are like a dewdrop and a flash of lightning - they are thus to be regarded. - Final verse uttered by a dying samurai

Doubt everything at least once, even the proposition that two times two equals four. - Georg Christoph Lichtenburg

Zen is really extraordinarily simple as long as one doesn’t try to be cute about it or beat around the bush. - Alan Watts

Why abandon a seat in your own home to wander in vain through dusty regions of another land? If you make one false step, you miss what is right before your eyes. - Dogen

Vetrans Day - Thank You

A busy weekend and no internet access Sunday leaves me posting this a day late.
Actually a re-post from last year, I still think it says what needs saying.

Thank you – for your service… for assuring my freedoms.

To The Retired Vets – Your service, sacrifice and grace to a country that did not honor you… I thank you and welcome home my friends. You did what your country asked, you did what you were told, it has been too long. Thank you and welcome home!!

To Those Currently In Service – It has been my honor to have met some of you. Brave hearts, honest minds, you have thanked me for seeing you home or seeing you off. I am in your debt, you are buying my freedom. And without thought to self you keep the fight from coming to our homes, on our land.

To All Veterans, home or in service, in a VA hospital or in a tank, holding your son/daughter/wife/husband or wishing you could – God Bless You, may he keep you safe and free from harm. Know that many of us here think of you often and keep you in our prayers.

Respect - DNR

Project Valor-IT

This post stays on top till November 11, 2007 - new stuff is below.

Project Valor - IT - The project to raise money for voice controled lap-tops for wounded (no longer can use their hands) service members.

This is my first year collecting so rather than try to explain it all my self, I'm going to copy (with permission) most of this post. (Thanks so much to Fbl)

Time for ruthless competition, endless inter-service snarkage, and constant meter-watching. Oh, and we raise some money for a good cause, too!

It's the 2007 Valour-IT Veterans Day Fundraising Competition, the yearly slugfest in which milbloggers and friends compete to see who can get to the fundraising goal first. Last year our merry band raised over $230,000 dollars. This year, need among the wounded hasn't changed, with as many as 100 laptops going out each month. But every year, the amazing bloggers who participated have exceeded Valour-IT's wildest hopes. Let's do it again!

Here's the who, what, where, when, why and how of the competition:

Who: Bloggers of any and all stripes who support the U.S. Military
What: Raising $240,000 ($60,000/team) for Project Valour-IT, the non-profit Soldiers' Angels program that helps supply voice-controlled and other adapted laptops to severely-wounded troops.
Where: Starting on the blogs, then spreading through your community and into major media
When: Monday, 29 October through Saturday, 11 November (Veterans Day)
Why: Because reconnecting the wounded with the world is a vital part of their recovery
How: Signing up for your favorite military branch, blogging, auctioning, emailing, and spreading the news

For more info, see the important competition websites listed below.

Team Leaders: Blackfive - Army, Chaotic Synaptic Activity - Navy/Coast Guard, Mudville Gazette - Air Force, SA Holly Aho - Marine Corps

Official Website: history and background on Valour-IT, official donation info
Bulletin Board: general competition info, tech help, team planning, announcements, etc.
Auction Site: donated items for sale
Project Blog: background, interesting links, daily donation tracking, public relations

So, what're ya waitin' for?! Need inspiration? Check my "Selected Valour-IT Posts" in the sidebar or click on the "Valour-IT" category further down.

Let's make this happen! There are wounded men and women out there who need us, and to whom we owe so much. Start helping them out with a donation (see button in the sidebar).

Gotta Love a Smartass

I got these today in an e-mail. I just had to share.

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It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied"
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A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
****************
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
****************
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day", the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
****************
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his Hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
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A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
This is a great one!!
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A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.
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A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
He never heard the shot....
OMG!!! This one had me rolling!!!

A Welcome Home

Sgt Brent Massey is home today. He will be here for 30 days. Then he returns... to Iraq. His fourth, yes FOURTH tour. He already has the Army Bronze Star. He IS a hero.

Sgt. Massey was awarded the "Army Bronze Star" medal for his actions taken on two missions in support of "Operation Iraqi Freedom". He led his soldiers on more than 60 missions. His expert ability to lead under fire was demonstrated on two separate missions in which his section was ambushed. His valorous actions and cool demeanor during these missions ensured the safety of his soldiers and led to the successful clearing and securing of the ambush sites.
He was also a vital asset in securing two highways that were used as supply routes by coalition forces rebuilding Iraq. His tireless efforts and outstanding operational stamina were key in keeping these highways open for coalition convoys and Iraqi civilians.

Last night, 2 PGR members met Sgt. Massey, his parents and a family friend (also a PGR member) at the airport. 3 bikes, 2 large flags and an escort from Indy’s west side to the east side. From comments I heard there, he was impressed... flattered.

Unknown to him or his parents, there were 8 more of us at his house. 4 more bikes and flags, the typical PGR style 3x4 flags. We lined the street for about 100 feet and waited.

Three bikes pulled in and a car... out jumped a Sergeant. Emotionally moved to just about run up and down our ranks and thank everyone of us with a firm hand shake and a hug. He thanks us.... It truly was our honor SIR (YES, I know you work for a living. See Softails post)

Indianapolis, there is a hero in town, a true, Bronze Star recipient war hero. God bless him and keep him safe. We will be there to escort him when he returns back to Iraq and again when he returns home.

Wedding Toasts

I’ve been involved or invited to more weddings in the last 6 months than any single year for over 20 years. Some friends were married over the summer and a buddy was best man at his dad’s wedding last month and I’m going to a wedding for a good friend this weekend.

The buddy that was best man at his dad wedding had to give a toast. I’m not the best man or anything this weekend but these events got me to thinking about toasts. I found a few that were really good. I’m sure there are others.

Got a good toast, I’d love to hear it. Here is what I’ve found so far...

· "May you always come more than you go."
· "May your love be a thousand miles long but come in six inch installments."
· "Here's to birthdays... they come only once a year! Aren't you glad you're not a birthday??"
· "Here's to the top, And here's to the middle. Let's hope tonight we all get a little."
· "I want to thank you all for coming, especially my parents, (X) years ago."
· "Here's to heat! Not the kind that ignites and burns down shanties, but the kind that excites and slides down panties!"
· "Here's to you, here's to me, together as friends we'll always be. And if we ever disagree, Fuck you, here's to me."
· "May your beer always be dry and your women always moist."
· "Here's to honor. To getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor."
· "Here's to honor — cause if you can't come in her, come on her! If you can’t come on her, fuck her!!
· "Here's to those we love the best, we love them best when they're undressed. We love them sitting, standing, lying; if they had wings we'd love them flying. And when they're dead, buried, forgotten- we'll dig them up and fuck them rotting!"
· "Here's to the lady in the white shoes: she'll steal all your money, she'll drink all your booze. She ain't got a cherry, but that ain't no sin, 'cuz she's still got the box that the cherry came in!"

My Halloween Party

Last years run in with little Johnny Clark form down the street was so much fun I decided to have a Halloween party this year. If you missed last years ‘fun’ you can go here and check it out.

My neighborhood Halloween party was nothing too fancy, just a bunch of folks that owed me a favor or have a mean streak and... Johnny’s parents.

Hahahah!!!

After last years fun they tried to sue me. Something about child endangerment... phft WTF!! My lawyer said they were lucky I didn’t shoot him. (fuck’n right, little bastard!!) Best part about the whole fiasco last year was when he took off running, he tripped off my porch and landed in the warm bag-o-crap he had placed on my door step. Had it all over his chest and arms. Fucker!!

Where was I... oh yeah, the Halloween party.

So, John and his wife Betty showed up in their costumes. Him a Pirate and her, a wench. (how original...) The rest of the gang was in grim reaper or fright night ghouls get ups. Nobody’s face was showing. Lots of long black robes and masked faces. A couple of us had black cheese cloth across our faces making us look like we had no face. Everyone was talking weird too, disguising our voices.

In the back, he had ‘volunteers’ sit in a chair, get blind folded and have their hands tied behind their backs. Then we would make them put their hands in cottage cheese telling them it was guts, macaroni noodles that had cooled and stuck together and told them it was brains... you know the typical gross stuff.

Guess who eventually wondered back into the gross out room....? Yeah, John and Betty Clark... BAWHAHA!!

“Hey look a couple” some one growls from the back of the room.
“Maybe they’ll do it together” someone else cackles.
“Yeah”, “Oooo yea”, “That’ll be great”, breaks form all corners of the room in shrieks and shriving voices that would curdle your blood.

With some reluctance and a little prodding, John and Betty take seats facing each other, get blind folded and their hands tied behind their backs. Heheh , as fast as you can blink, we ball gagged them and tied them to the chairs. O jeese, they freaked out!! Some of you have heard screams through a ball gag before, I know. I hadn’t, it’s actually quite entertaining!! HAHAHA Now before you go all PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Asshole neighbors) on me, they were candy ball gags. They would ‘eventually’ chew through them... eventually. BAWHahahah!!!

A couple of the bigger guys picked up the chairs and started carrying them around and out of the house. Down the street and into their back yard. See, while a dozen or so of us were ‘having the party’ another 4 or 5 were ‘decorating’ their back yard.

We put them down, facing each other with their knees touching and left them alone till they stopped screaming... then I said in a very scratchy voice, “sit still and I’ll cut you free”. Now, they hear the sound of a machete coming out of a metal sheath... They both winced. I screamed, like I was using all my strength to bring the blade down and chopped into a rotting pumpkin. ‘THUNK’ a really dull flat sound... At the same time they were sprayed in the face with pumpkin guts.

Oh GOD!! Betty passed out!!! John was... frozen, especially after Betty passed out and went silent on him. A few slaps on the face and she was screaming in hysterics. Before she woke up, I noticed John had... a wet spot on his pirate costume. Poor guy...

We untied them from the chairs and pulled their blind folds off and kinda shoved them around in a tight circle for a couple minutes making sure they were good and dizzy. One side parted and they were pushed out into a kiddy pool that was full of thick red jell’o and ballistic jell body parts. Arms, legs, heads, torsos with and with out heads. The back yards was covered in fog and pulsing strobe lights. Then a loud boom from a July 4th percussion bomb, the lights went out and silence. And we left. Both of them were still screaming like little girls. That was Wednesday evening. Nobody has seen them since that night.

There is a For Sale sign in their yard today...

BAWHAHahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Happy Halloween

Skull face, it’s not just for Halloween. I wear this all winter when riding in the cold. (any thing under about 35° F)

You wouldn't believe the double takes I get when riding with this on. Even had a SUV slow down and the passenger stuck their head out to take my picture. hahahaha

Tis’ Better To Be Quiet And Thought A Fool, Than To Speak And Remove All Doubt.

Received this in an e-mail the other day. HT to SpeedBump, Thanks!!

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When in England at a large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush. He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return." It became very quiet in the room.

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There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?"

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?" Once again, dead silence.

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A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.

At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe its because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.' You could have heard a pin drop!

Obama Update

From this post last week...

I found this video this evening...

I'd really like to hear what you think...

Friday Funnies

Make that Sunday Funnies. I had something more important to say Friday. See here.

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Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.

Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."

And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.

After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.

Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"

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What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.

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Read out loud . . .

My Dixie Wrecked!

I Am Sofa King We Tar Did!

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Cinderella was fired today from Disney world. She was caught sitting on Pinocchio face screaming “lie to me motherfucker, lie!”

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Why do women wear panties? Because it is a state law that all man holes be covered.

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An old lady was getting off of a bus from a recent blue haired tour. She stopped the driver and told him she was molested on the back of the bus. He asked her what happened and she explained that there was some old man on the back of the bus molesting ladies.

The driver went to the back of the bus and found an old guy crawling around on the floor and asked him, “What the hell are you doing?”
The old guy responded, “I’ve lost my toupee, I thought I found it 3 times, but mine is parted on the side and all of those were parted in the middle”

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A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a bus next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?” The priest replied, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and lack of a bath.” The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

In Memoriam

I had jokes published for today. Then I received this. I'll re-post the jokes later, this needs to be seen.

60 years after WWII

Please read the little cartoon carefully, it's powerful.

We cannot, we must not, ever forget what happened in Europe over 60 years ago, because it could happen again. Anyone, any group, could be the target. It has been said that those who refuse to study history are doomed to repeat it. In this case, those who are attempting to rewrite history are probably planning to repeat it! The hatred is already there, in place, taught to the children from infancy, with promises of glory and honor to those who carry out the plans.

In Memoriam

The Non Sequitur Home Page

It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. I recieved this in e-mail. It has been sent sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the 6,000,000 (six million) Jews, 20,000,000 (twenty million) Russians, 10,000,000 (ten million) Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated with the German and Russia peoples looking the other way!

Now, more than ever, with Iran, among others, claiming the Holocaust to be "a myth," it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets, because there are others who would like to do it again.

The Islamic extremists are bent on the same thing that Hitler and Stalin were. The conquest of the world and the destruction of anyone who doesn't believe the way they do. The rest of the Muslims who say or do nothing about them are as guilty as the extremists.

A House Fire

This post at Sparrows (All Atwitter) and the fires in SoCal got me thinking...

A slightly different decision a few years ago and I’d be living in SoCal... maybe even one of those in the fire... huh... kinda surreal.

So, if you got a call or came home to find your place on fire, what would you do? Stand there frozen... Call 911 and wait... run in and grab... photos, jewelry, heirlooms... what would you do??

I personally don’t know. I think I’d be in the house throwing stuff out the windows trying to save any and everything possible. Hopefully fighting the fire.

About 3 years ago, my mom came home from work and when she entered the house she could smell smoke. (My parents house is a long ranch, you go from room to room, then a small hall, then a great room/kitchen/dinging/living room then a sun porch) When she opened the door to the next room she was swarmed with smoke. All gathered on the ceiling, down to about 5 feet. She closed the door and went back out side, called 911. She went around to the back of the house and could see flames and thick black smoke in the kitchen window. She ran around to the front of the house and came in a different door (middle of the living/great room)... with a garden hose, a wet rag over her nose and mouth and attacked the fire.

She actually put most of it out and then went for her babies.

My mom runs a ‘do not kill’ animal shelter for dogs and cats. At any given time she will have 100-200 cats and 50-100 dogs in a shelter she has built in town. There is always the special ones that get to stay at the house though. The number has been holding steady at 30 cats, 1 dog for the last couple years. These are the geriatric cats or special needs cats that will not get adopted at her shelter.

She spent the next couple hours finding cats in the smoke, pulling them out, putting them in carriers and rushing them to the vet. Somewhere in there she called friends to chauffer the cats to the vet while she kept the rescue effort going. Somewhere in there also, the firemen showed up and opened doors and put fans in windows.

Old portraits of relatives from the late 1800’s and early 1900’s were black. The glass in the frames had cracked form the heat. All of their books, some first editions form the early 1900’s were black with smoke. There were these real 70’s style fake wood beams on the ceiling in the dinning area, they melted and were dripping from the ceiling. All and I do mean ALL of the Tupperware or any plastic storage containers were ruined. They hold smoke. I believe one of the cats died, all of the rest made it. The vet bill was in the thousands. Eye washing, nasal flushing, baths. Turns out cats are kinda like horses. When scared they go to there favorite hiding/sleeping spot and stay there. All of the ones that had chosen high spots up in closets suffered the worst.

They spent 6 months in an apartment. The cats stayed in their barn. The heirloom stuff was repaired. There are actually companies that specialize and guarantee that they can remove smoke color and smell from clothes, art and books. They are back in the house now. For years growing up we heated with a wood fire. One of those big cast iron stove inserts. They haven’t used it in years, since the fire. Mom can’t stand the smell of smoke.

The cause... A coffee pot. One of those kinds that is ‘always ready’. Pour the water in and it starts making coffee in 30 seconds or less. That means that a heating element is always on or at least sensing the reservoir for water and turning on when water is poured in. The thermal switch broke, the heating element did not turn off. Burnt itself through the counter top and into the cabinet below. Caught dish towels and other paper products and spread from there.

The firemen said that the smoke and heat told them that it had been going for about 3 hours. Another 15 minutes and it would have been ‘a total loss’. If my mom had not attached the fire with the hose... it would have burnt to the ground before the firemen could get there.

Obama For President

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This video is.... well, take a look. Let me know what you think...

FUCK OBAMA!!!!

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EDIT - 10/25/07 1400 - The video is missing. It was about a 1-1.5 min clip from a Dem rally in Iowa that showed all of the various Presidential candidates standing for the National Anthem. All were following protocol (standing, at attention... kinda, with their right hand over their hearts) (see here for official US Flag Code; Title 36, Chapter 10, The “Flag Code”, §170 + 171) except Obama. We was just standing there with his hands in his pockets.

Trust that I am looking for the video. As soon as I find it, it will be re-posted.

- DNR

English, Our Offical Language

I did a little research on this. 33 did vote against the amendment to the bill and those listed below are the 33. I cannot confirm that Col Harry G. Riley wrote the below letter. I was able to confirm that the Abraham Lincoln quote is correct.

The amendment to add English as the official language passed 64-33. It should have been unanimous.

Regardless of the author, I think the letter is good and the more places that publish it the more it will be read and maybe American will stand up and stop the madness that is Congress.

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33 Senators Voted Against English as America’s Official Language June 6, 2007.

On Wed, 6 Jun 2007 23:35:23 -0500, Colonel Harry G. Riley, U.S. Army (Ret.), wrote:

Senators,

Your vote against an amendment to the Immigration Bill 1348, to make English America's official language is astounding. On D-Day no less when we honor those that sacrificed in order to secure the bedrock character and principles of America. I can only surmise your vote reflects a loyalty to illegal aliens.

I don't much care where you come from, what your religion is, whether you're black, white or some other color, male or female, democrat, republican or independent, but I do care when you're a United States Senator, representing citizens of America and vote against English as the official language of the United States

Your vote reflects betrayal, political surrender, violates your pledge of allegiance, dishonors historical principle, rejects patriotism, borders on traitorous action and, in my opinion, makes you unfit to serve as a United States Senator... impeachment, recall, or other appropriate action is warranted.

Worse, 4 of you voting against English as America 's official language are presidential candidates: Senator Biden, Senator Clinton, Senator Dodd, and Senator Obama.

Those 4 Senators vying to lead America but won't or don't have the courage to cast a vote in favor of English as America's official language when 91% of American citizens want English officially designated as our language.

This is the second time in the last several months this list of Senators have disgraced themselves as political hacks... unworthy as Senators and certainly unqualified to serve as President of the United States.
If America is as angry as I am, you will realize a back-lash so stunning it will literally rock you out of your panties... and preferably, totally out of the United States Senate.

The entire immigration bill is a farce ... your action only confirms this really isn't about America ; it's about self-serving politics... despicable at best.

'Never argue with an idiot; they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.' ~ anonymous

The following senators voted against making English the official language of America :
Akaka (D-HI)
Bayh (D-IN) [Indiana, we need to get this guy out of office, FUCKTARD!! - DNR]
Biden (D-DE) Wants to be President?
Bingaman (D-NM)
Boxer (D-CA)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Clinton (D-NY) Wants to be President?
Dayton (D-MN)
Dodd (D-CT) Wants to be President?
Domenici (R-NM) Coward, protecting his Senate seat...
Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D-WI) Not unusual for him
Feinstein (D-CA)
Harkin (D-IA)
Inouye (D-HI)
Jeffords (I-VT)
Kennedy (D-MA)
Kerry (D-MA) Wanted to be President
Kohl (D-WI)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Lieberman (D-CT) Disappointment here.....
Menendez (D-NJ)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murray (D-WA)
Obama (D-IL) Wants to be President?
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV) Senate Majority Leader
Salazar (D-CO)
Sarbanes (D-MD)
Schumer (D-NY)
Stabenow (D-M)

'Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale, and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled or hanged.' ~ President Abraham Lincoln

I So Miss The Mountains

Born in south-western PA and lived my later teen years in east TN taught me to love the mountains. I've traveled through them before, taking pictures to show friends and to help me re-live the awe I feel every time I pass through, but the film never seems to be wide enough, or real enough. These days I just drive (or ride) through and look around in wonder. It is amazing I don't crash and burn.

I took these pictures coming through Bean Station, TN. One is looking down about 1,300 feet to Cherokee Lake. The gas station pic is hard to realize what you are looking at. On one side of the road is a gas station. The other is a rock wall about 75 feet high. Then of course there is the ever present kudzu. So pretty and green but it will over take everything. And a tunnel. That was cool on the bike. The rumble was awesome.

I wish I cold down load the experiences, the fall colors starting to over take the green, the smells of home heating fires from the night before. You really should ride the roads less traveled. It is good for the soul.

Prayers Please

Remember this post... Greg Bowman died September 8th or 9th. this is a small bit of that other post.

During our quick dinner, it was decided that I *gulp* should present the flag to Mrs. Bowman... wow, this is more of an honor than I can describe. I’m glad it was about an hour to Princeton, IL because I spent the time composing my self and trying to find some words that might express what I was feeling and what needed to be said.

When we got there, the official service was over so we went to the Bowman’s house. About 25 members of the family were there and gathered around and I presented THE flag. It has never been harder for me to speak. I think I did ok.

Greg's brother Jeff was there. I remmeber the tears in his eyes as I presented the flag to his sister-in-law, Greg's wife. I remember a hug from him and thanks for bringing them THE flag.

Last night I recieved a call... coming home from another PGR mission... a car crossed the center line and hit Jeff head on... He's in a coma, it doesn't look good.

In the last year, this family has also lost a son due to PTSD from Iraq.

Please pray for him, for his family, his kids. PLEASE!!!

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Edit: corrected loss of son.

Asphalt Alligators, Wheel Ruts and Self Racking

I went for a ride this weekend. Went to see my brother, in east Tennessee. Odometer puts me at 895 miles. Not bad for leaving at about 1400 Saturday afternoon and getting back about 2100 Sunday evening.

On the way down, somewhere around Lexington, cruising along at about 80, in heavy traffic, I catch a van out of the corner of my eye, he swerves suddenly. Before you get all panicky, he was two lanes away, but still, swerving your car near a motorcycle rider will get you 'looked' at... I realize he was dodging a piece of truck tire and not on a mission to freak out the motor cycle guy two lanes over.. *deep breath*. He missed it, well most of it. Clipped a little piece and sent it flying up in the air behind him. Keep in mind all of this happened in a second, maybe less. When I refocused my attention back to the task at hand and my lane... there, right in front of me was the rest of the tire. OH SHIT!!! Do my own version of the swerve manuver and thankfully missed the tire. PHEWWW!!! That was close. Bad enough hitting one of those alligator bastards while driving a car, but on a bike... at 80 mph... I don't even want to think about it.

You know how wheel ruts can pull you along some times... kinda like keeping you in your lane or pushing you out... Some where else on this ride, I found some nice big ruts. You know the kind, left by the double wide tires of 10,000 semis. Again, I'm just cruising along, minding my own business, probably 80 again... maybe a little more... turn signal, check mirror, look past shoulder, move to the left to pass. OH HOLY SHIT!!! HANG ON!!! This crazy wheel rut throws me into the next lane like I was on a sport bike. Sling, zip!! now I correct the sudden movement and ofcourse come back the other way... Got way to damn close to the car I was passing. Like "reach out and touch the fender" close. Nothing like wheels going sideways and a rapidly approaching car fender to wake your shit up.

And lastly, I hit a hole. Good gawd it was a hole. Some times they are bone chairing and can make that cracking sound in your neck. But this one, this hole in the road was an over achiever. Front wheel hits "slam"! Head snaps forward, shoulders are stressed. The sudden impact has started a momentum change, I'm kinda slouching down, head and body leaning forward from the drop in the front wheel... then the rear wheel hits "crash"!! The bike falls out from under me and as I fall trying to keep my seat on the seat, the rear wheel hits the other side of the hole and comes up to meet me, smacks me in the ass and launches me into the air. I have no idea how far or how long I was hovering above the seat, but it was long enough in the zero gravity area of a free fall that the 'boys' moved... no longer in a nice tucked in spot on the seat sublimely enjoying the rumble that IS Harley Davidson... NOooo!!! They decided to go on a "walk about". Crush!! *sound of glass breaking* (at least that is what it felt like...) Oh God, I'm gonna throw up! (the guys can relate, I'm sure. ladies, ask your fav man about being hit so hard you feel like up-chucking...) I came down HARD on my own shit... That was like 6 hours ago... they're still sore. And I think the left one is swollen...

If this was my last ride for the season (yeah right!!) it was a good one. Got to visit with the lil'bro, had some Jack, had some wings, some Jack, a hot dog... more Jack. Watched The 300 and..... ummmm more Jack (he says I drank half a bottle. I think he poured it down the drain...) Ran over to the parents house, said hi. Visited for an hour or two. (the next morning... wonder if they could tell I was still... toasted) Made it home in time to watch the Steelers loose, bastards!

So, how was your weekend?

Blogaversery

It’s been a year... wow! Yippee frick’n skipy!!

Everything I really wanted to say about today I kinda said here.

I’ve met (is reading someone’s blog considered ‘meeting’ them? I’m still such a grasshopper) so many interesting and fascinating people out here. No, I'm not going t list everyone, i know I'd forget someone and that would suck. Just check the blogroll and know that's about half of what I read.

Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting over the last 12 months. It’s been fun, it’s been real and it’s been real fun.

It took me 364.75 days, but I think I finally broke out of my blog-fathers circle. I met Preposterous Ponderings and Tequila Mockingbird yesterday. They’re not on his blog roll... Great writers, go check them out. Be sure you swallow your coffee first. I’m not responsible for monitor damage or nasaly discharge of your lunch, m’k?

As my gift to you I was going to label all of my posts so you could find like-stuff easier (Zen, jokes, missions, etc) but the weather just won’t cooperate. Too many nice days and the bike, she just keeps calling me...

“Look, the sun is out! We could get in 200 miles before dark, and another 50 after sunset!! Come on big guy, you know you want to ride me...”
See how she is?!? heh, hell yea I like to rider her... I swear I can hear her start purring in the garage sometimes.

Wait, this isn’t a bike post.... where was I...
Oh yeah... so I keep riding on nice weather weekends and haven’t done the great blogaversery post or the labeling. And this weekend, it’s gonna be in the 70s Saturday and 80s Sunday. Hoping for a thousand miles this weekend. We’ll see.

One year summary:
5,589 visitors
8,721 page views
232 posts

I added a few humming bird pics to Pho Tog, let me know what you think.

Your Name Says A Lot

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man, standing alone. She approached him. "My name is Carmen," she told him. "That's a beautiful name," he replied, "Is it a family name?""No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.""What's your name?" she asked.He said, "Bob Titsenbeer

Just call me DNR Assenharleyjack!!! LOL!!!

Last Saturday

Saturday... nothing went as planned. Had to stop by the shop and get some pics of the old bike. Still trying to get it re-built with out taking out a 2nd on the house. Should have been there 30 min max. We were there 90min... Frank, the owner is 60+ and can talk bikes all day. He knows so much and has such great stories. I just can't tell him 'I have to go'. Had to meet a co-worker in about 60 miles west of the bike shop. On the way we swung by my office and I showed Don around, again, should have been 20 min but we were there almost an hour. From the town out west, we had to be at Cam Atterbury at by 1 (about 110 miles south). We left Lebanon at 12:30... we didn't make it by 1. They (the SAR team we were to meet) were running late too, so this was ok. We were there to hide for some search dogs and had to leave at 4 to be about 75 miles north at 5. We left Atterbury at 5:45... Made it to Fishers by 6:30. Yep, 75 miles in 45 min.

250-300 miles, nothing goes as planned... It was a good day!

Me, Meme's n' Og

Og played the Evolution meme!!! Go check it out!!!

OK... so Og made up and tagged me with his own meme.
I sit in awe.
My answers are below.
As the author, you don’t have to answer, so I guess he’s off the hook. If you read this consider yourself tagged.

BAWHAhahahahahah!!!!!!!!

The Og Meme

Who is your favorite midget?
He who fits in my hand...

Goat, or chicken?
Chicken

235-75R15 or 235-60R17?
235-60R17 but I really like 235-50VR17

If thirty hookers each use four tubes of K-Y jelly per shift, using 1/4 tube per john, what is the likelihood of Nancy Pelosi ever getting laid outside of a leper colony? Show your work.
Ummmm.... Yes!!

Fetches la vache.
Remettez la vache!!

"Freude Schone gotterfunken, tochter aus Elysium". Solve for X.
Rache des Vaters für funken Tochter!
X=∞

Sing the scrotum song in a high falsetto in a mens room in Philadelphia. Write an essay on the reaction this engenders.
I’ll take the 5th on this one!!

Zen Summary VI

Seeking wisdom, the Emperor Gyo sent a messenger to a hermit named Kyoyu, offering to hand the empire over to him. Kyoyu not only flatly refused, but upon hearing such a foul suggestion washed his ears in the river Ei. Another Hermit, Sofu, coming there to water his ox and seeing this, led his ox away, saying he would not let it drink such filthy water. - Zen Story

The whole world is you. Yet you keep thinking there is something else. - Hsueh-Feng

As naturally as the oak bears an acorn and the vine a gourd, man bears a poem, either spoken or done. - Henry David Thoreau

Settling on a blade of grass, a dead leaf; the dew does not discriminate over what to call home. - Soin

You can tell wether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell wether a man is wise by his questions. - Naguib Mahfouz

In your heart, you already know. - Zen Saying

Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation. Tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding and trilling bolster his ego. - Jean Arp

Blog-O-Sphere to The Rescue

My friend Atremis has had eye surgery and is in full recovery mode. Her hilarious take on the surgery is here (story about the surgery... with pictures... ugh). So go on by and give her some blog love.

Thanks!!

Edit - 10/15/07 - Typo fix... f'n typos

Another Meme

Another Meme

Jan at Vinegar and Honey tagged me with a meme. Thanks Jan... I have found that memes are a great way to lean about other folks and that some blogers just don’t like them. Jan says this is her first meme and having to look up the word 'meme'. I remember that experience.... (here)

Rules:
Explain how your blog has evolved and site 5 posts that back up your claims.
Why did you call your blog ____?
Tag 5 others.

Hummm... (I hate essay questions!!)

I started bloging to keep a friends (Dazd of Dazd and Confzd From Here) readers updated on his medical condition. The earliest post on that topic was my second post (here). Do you consider this a 'real' post? If not, then that was my first post.

I’m not sure I have changed or evolved much in my first year. I still have an occasional observation (older one, newer one) and I still talk about our fallen soldiers and the emotions I experience at PGR rides and gatherings (older, newer). I still have a bit of a smart ass take on things. If anything has evolved I feel a little freer to express my thoughts and I must confess my language has gotten a little more raw. (old, new)

I think my readers have changed. The group that started here were my friends friends. They seem to have left, at least they have stopped commenting *wonders why*. Perhaps because I don’t comment on their blogs very much any more.

What has evolved is my involvement in a digital record of things around me. “What...?” started out as my only outlet, now I have 3 others. Click on my profile link and you’ll find 2 of the others. The 4th is... a super secrete blog. Things there are... different. Anonymity has it’s rewards. *grin*

Why did I call this thing “What...?!?” and I’ll add why is the URL ‘ihadtoputsomething’;
Sombody once coughed and coughe when I said I’m something of a smart-ass. guess he thinks I'm a full blown smart-ass. So, “What...?” just fits.

What? Did I say that? Did I think that out loud...???
What? Like you weren’t thinking it!!
What? Did I really read/hear/see that?

So many different inflections and punctuations give one word so many different meanings. Like I said, it fits.

The URL is just a basic expression of my smart-assedness. Guess I could have gone with ‘whatdidisaythat’ but hadn’t decided on the title when the blogger site wanted a URL. I still remember thinking, “this needs to be something easy to remember, easy to spell... I have to put something... but what?.... ‘I have to put something’ heh heh, ‘ihadtoputsomething’!! Cool!! That’s it!!” And the rest, as they say, is history.

The tagged;
Dazed - (the blog-father) this should be interesting.
Og - I pretty sure he hates memes and doesn’t play. His spin on this should be great, if he plays along.
Freddie - I think I know her answers. She is a great writer and her answers will inspire.
LL - I don’t think she likes to play the meme game either, but we’ll see. Another that should be enlightening.
Dick - He has left the blog-o-sphere. I miss his whit, humor and un-apologetic take on so many things. I know he is still around, lurking and reading. Maybe he’ll post in comments. One meme he did a few months back was the most hilarious thing I ever read.

Non Work Things

Have you ever had one of those days when you brain was racing around a million different things? And none of it work...

I want something really bad.

Tom and his family.

Amy, she is doing better.

Ian, I need to call my brother.

Riding this weekend, where, with who... alone... how many miles?

I have a meme to finish.

Lunch, in office or eat out.

Should have rode in today, 42° is not THAT cold.

Buy a lottery ticket.

Update my resume.

Just to name a few. I really need to finish that meme. Don’t I Jan?

Stage 4, Grade 4, Level IV

Damn-it!!! Damn-it!!! Damn-it!!! Damn-it!!!

It’s bad enough having your kids not listen to you but now I think no one is listening. I said it here, everyone is to stop, k.

Another buddy, Tom, has cancer. damn-it!! Stage 4... the worst...
Vietnam Vet, father of 3, married 30 +/- years...
He’s not 60.
His wife calls me “Mr. Hells Angel”, his daughter calls me dad...
fuck-it!!!

He has less than 12 months.

God give me the strength to be there for him and his family.

Damn it all to hell!!!

2%

Jeese!! I don't travel abroad much. My trip to Scotland was 30 years ago.

How about you? Travle much?

Great Weekend for August

October 6th and 7th, both set record highs around here. 90 both days, we broke records from 1917.

Got out and rode a bit. May never have t-shirt weather in October again. Met a friend on Indy’s south side and we basically criss-crossed southern Indian. Went through Nashville, Bloomington, Shelbyville, New Palestine. About 250 miles. It was a great ride!

Took the wife out for a short ride Sunday afternoon. She’s not a big fan so we only got about 50 miles. Went through some of the little towns up north. Not sure we even left the county.

Overall it was a great weekend, hope yours was excellent.

I’ve been tagged with a meme... haven’t done one of these in a long time. Hope to have my version/answers up this afternoon.

Friday Funnies

A collection of blond jokes;
A quiz. How did you do?
An R rated joke, you've been warned...

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Blonde Jokes

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is the vacuum on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

*****************************************

Test for Dementia

Below are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question.

You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)



First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? (no peeking)







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?


Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can YOU overtake the LAST Person?


You're not very good at this, are you?




Third Question:Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 .
Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000
Now add 10 . What is the total?


Scroll down for answer.....









~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
.....Maybe.


Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?









~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. You must read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair
of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you, he can speak!

************************************************************

The R rated joke

THE HORTH WITHPERER

Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. Sam asks "How will I recognize him?"

That's easy; he's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.

"A female horth."

So he shows him a prized filly.

"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?"

Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.

"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?" So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf?"

The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.

"Nice mouf, can I see her twat?"

Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrase that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?"